What having a hole in your head actually looks like

Here is my little war-veteran:




Here she is at home, the next day:

A little aside: if things continue at this rate, by the time she reaches adulthood, Abbie will be half-human, half-machine. I wonder if her surgeon would be willing to give her laser-shooting eyes, just for fun.

Home!

I am very happy to report that we are back home already! The recovery from this last surgery is much easier than the first one, and Abbie is already walking around the house. Babies are amazing!!!

We immediately saw improvement after the shunt was placed, so that most likely means that most of her symtoms were due to that, and not to the tumor growth. This is a big relief, and it will most likely mean that we'll have more options for treatment. We don't meet with oncology until next week, so I don't know for sure what they will suggest, but neurosurgy seemed to think that we will have time to try different chemos insteading needing to move to radiation or surgery to remove the tumor. Surgery, as I've said, is very dangerous, and radiation would not be much less so due to Abbie's age. So, we are very hopeful that we will be able to give a more aggressive chemotherapy regimen a try.

This is just such a roller coaster, it's difficult to catch our breath. It really does look like the tumor had not grown as much as they feared, but it's hard to feel too relieved when we know that at any moment something else might pop up to put Abbie in danger. The constant fear is exhausting. Please continue to pray for us, and most especially for Abbie, who has really been a trooper throughout this. The hosptal does not bring out the best in her manners (she routinely commands the nurses and doctors to "Go away! Shut the door!"), but despite the fact that they carved into her skull this week, she has hit the ground running. God bless her.

Home!

First Step Done

Abbie came out of surgery well on Monday. She is already awake, and there is a noticeable improvement in the use of her arms. She is fighting the doctors/nurses as they poke and prod her! :) We now have to wait a couple of days for the MRI and then determine what the next step will be.
Please continue to pray!

To Clarify

Some of the details get muddled in all of this, so here are a few points to clarify the confusion some people have expressed:

• Abbie has cancer. Because most of the tumor was removed from her spine, it is primarily now just in her brain. Actually, what she has is not a tumor at all, it is an astrocytoma. So although we keep saying "benign tumor," the reality is that it is cancerous and it is growing. "Benign" in regards to an astrocytoma just means "slow-moving" as opposed to "fast-moving" malignant.
• Abbie's mobility was improving daily. Before she began to weaken, she was climbing steps and trying to run. This Monday, I told Chris that her arms seemed weaker to me, and he told me that I was paranoid. On Tuesday, he agreed that she looked weaker, and her OT told me that she was not doing certain exercises that she had been able to do previously. By Wednesday, she was slightly shaky when she walked. By Thursday she was very unsteady. By Friday her arms hung limp at her sides and she could barely walk a foot before falling over. We were admitted to the hospital on Friday.

Feel free to ask any questions you might have, and I'll try to answer them whenever I pop in here.

Bad News

We have just received some bad news about Abbie, and I am sending out the call to yet again beg all of you for prayers.

The short version of events is that an MRI of Abbie's tumor on Thursday shows that she has a very large cyst growing above the tumor in her brain stem, and that it has grown significantly again in her upper spinal cord. There is no explanation for why this has happened -- although the tumor is cancerous, it is benign (meaning slow moving) so we have no idea how it could have spread so quickly. There are several theories, but we won't know for sure until the cyct has been drained.

On Monday Abbie will undergo another surgery, where they will remove a small piece of her skull and insert a shunt to drain the cyst. We will then monitor her closely in the next couple of days to see what the tumor does, and how her mobility improves. If neither are good, then she will need to undergo another brain surgery, to remove the tumor from her brain stem. I cannot emphasise enough how dangerous that surgery would be. It is unbearable to think about, and we aren't going to dwell on it until we know for certain if it will be necessary or not.

Please, please pray for us and most especially please pray for my sweet baby.

The brutal truth

The girls and I were talking about grandmas tonight over mac-n-cheese. We had a friend over, so while he and Chris grilled some steaks on the porch, I boiled up the good stuff for our less discerning children.

We began talking about the wine glass I was sipping out of, something I cherish very much as it came from my Grandma Niccoli. (The glass, not the wine!) They were confused to hear that I had a Grandma Niccoli, someone other than their Grandma Niccoli, and this led into a discussion about generations, marriage, the passing on of names, and, finally, nicknames. The girls sometimes refer to their grandmothers as "The Grandma who sews" and "The Grandma who doesn't sew," and as we discussed this I jokingly asked them what their kids would call me.

Not missing a beat, not missing a beat! Beth responded, "Grandma Lazy Bum."

Want to see our pictures?

So, I've been trying to figure out how to make our pictures more private, so that joe-schmo-the potential-pedophile-down-the-street can't figure out how to get my kids. Paranoid, maybe, but.....So I've created a flickr account, that, as far as I can tell, is somewhat private. At least, I think it is.

So if you'd like to see the pictures I've put up (of the house and Becky's wedding) just email me (either through my profile here, or through my regular email) and I'll send you an invitation to view the photos!

Don't be shy about emailing me, either! Mom's friends, or Christiana people, or people who I don't even know who have been praying for Abbie are all more than welcome, I just need an email. :)

Forget who rocks the cradle, she who holds the remote....

We added DVR to our cable when we moved, but it's been a bear to figure out. (DVR is like Tivo, just the generic version.) Chris has messed around with it a bit, but still doesn't quite understand all the ins and outs of getting it to work. We haven't mentioned it to the kids, though, because........well, what do they care?

The other day, I called the kids up for lunch, and then ran downstairs to get something or other. To my surprise, Franklin was paused on the t.v. When I mentioned it to the kids, Katie breezily replied, "Oh yeah, we didn't want to miss the end." Seems that not only has she discovered the DVR, she is actually the current authority on how to use it.

My management of this household is on such shaky ground it isn't even funny. Any day now I expect to wake up to find Katie in the kitchen, frying up a few eggs while she sorts the bills. And I don't know how to handle it when it happens -- do I snatch the bills out of her hand and tell her to mind her own business, or do I just pull up a chair and thank her for the egg???

happy early fourth of july!

We let the girls stay up late tonight because the fire department in our neighborhood was putting on a fireworks show. The field they use is just behind our house, sort of seperated by a field and a little line of trees, so we were guessing that we'd be able to see the fireworks from our yard.

So, around 9, we grabbed a blanket and curled up on the porch to watch the fireworks. We could see them perfectly, but were far enough away that the noise wasn't freaking the girls out, and it was just really, really nice. Surrounded by lighting bugs, cuddled up together watching the fireworks light up the field behind the trees, it was a magic that we all felt. Beth, as so often happens, summed it up best when she said, "I can't even say anything about these fireworks! It's just too amazing!"

My outdoor warrior

Chris bought a riding mower.
We really debated whether he should just start with a push mower, and see if he could do it.

Wanna guess how long it took him to mow our lawn with the riding mower? Two and a half hours.

Then he had to buy a push mower anyways, because the riding one can't handle some of the hills in our yard.

Wanna guess how long it took him to "detail" with the push mower? An hour and half.

I guess the days of just using a plug-in weed whacker are really gone. Pictures tomorrow!

Things are looking up!

At least a dozen times a day, Beth heaves a big sigh and declares, "This is the life!" It's safe to say that the girls are really enjoying our new pool, and all the fun stuff that comes with a big yard. And we are enjoying it, too, despite the fact that we are still as intimidated as all get-out everytime we poke around the flowers and bushes that are planted everywhere.

It's nice feel so at home here already. This house just feels right. There are still lots of boxes to unpack, walls to paint and pictures to hang, but everything here seems perfect. We love the train that comes by two or three times a day, the tip of it just glanced through the trees. We love the basement, cool and bright and cozy, and we love the kitchen, which is not perfect when it comes to counter space, but just begs everyone to gather together and hang out around the table.

Chris and I have taken to jumping into the pool, once the girls are tucked into bed, to swim a few laps and yesterday I took a break to hang on the side and look out over our new yard. The field behind us was literally sparkling with fireflies, and as I listened to the somehow cozy braying of our neighbors' goat (yes, I said our neighbors' goat) I pictured Beth's sunny little face and realized that she has it just right -- this is the life!

The hitchin' post

Wedding bells were ringing around here yesterday! Chris' sister spent her last morning sharing the same name as me, and it was one heck of a day. Everything was really very nice, the flowers and dresses, decorations and reception -- it was all beautiful and fun. But I've noticed that some weddings can be spot on when it comes to all the periphery - food, planning, all the bells and whistles -- and they still can't compare in any way to the ones centered around a couple who are just clearly in love and clearly eager to devote the rest of their lives to each other. There is just a special spark to everything when the priorities are right, when the priorities are on, well, getting married instead of putting on a really kicking party. The ceremony, the couple themselves, the very air that affects the kind of enjoyment the guests have are all brightened, clarified, infused with a type of beauty that is kind of like the difference in scenery on a particularly sunny day.

That being said, Dante and Becky's wedding was really beautiful. In every possible way. While watching them exchanging vows on the alter, I was - to paraphrase Anne of Green Gables - just filled with deep-down, bottom-of-the-heart gladness.

All of this joy and sunny-happy-la-la-la, though, was for Chris and I filtered through a jumble of chaos and frustration at the hands of our children. They were really pretty good, the move and the cancer and all things considered.....But..........big old sigh, it was a tough afternoon. Abbie seems to have developed a fear of crowds, my guess being that, to her, any stranger could plausibly suddenly spring some sleeping gas on her, leaving her to yet again wake up with more boo-boos that she doesn't understand. From that perspective, her behavior makes sense, but it was still frustrating. We had been so hopeful that she would be okay, that we would be able to dance and be silly as a family together, that Chris and I could have snuck in a slow dance here or there, that visiting and talking with people who are hardly ever seen but much thought of would be easy and enjoyable.........but it all was just not possible, given the uptight and cranky baby who couldn't decide what might make the evening bearable. The real killer, though, was that right as Abbie finally calmed down and realized that a wedding can be fun, right as she turned back into her sweet self and we began to enjoy ourselves, Claire flashed me a surprised look and then puked all over herself.

That was bad enough, but I actually managed to clean her up pretty well, and as we headed back into the reception room I told myself that there was no real harm done, and that we would manage to squeak through the last hour or so just fine. But - silly me - the first vomit was just a preliminary, and the second left us with no choice but to cut our losses and go home.

So, although neither of us will ever be reconciled to the fact that we missed seeing Dante and Becky off, hopefully with time all the happiness and beauty of the day will remain and the frustrations will fade somewhat, leaving us laughing at our dumb luck and the ticklish stomaches of our children that so often propel us away from social situations before we're ready to go.

And what I will really laugh about, in the future, is the tense and embarrassed conversation I had with Claire, during the gospel reading, about a foot from the priest, when she suddenly had the desperate need to discuss how much wedding cake she could have. Let's just say that #1- she was not happy with the amount of time she was going to have to endure before said cake, and #2- God was clearly not happy with her priorities, because when the much anticipated cake did come, it certainly did her no good.

Home Sweet Home

Here is a view of our new backyard, taken from the deck of our new pool! :-)

Things were finally worked out on Friday, and we moved that night. We are starting to settle in somewhat now, and you know what? Despite the pain of getting here, when the girls and I ate breakfast this morning on our deck, listening to the birds chirping and feeling a nice breeze blowing across our yard, it all seems worth it.

Abbie is doing well, she had her second dose of chemo yesterday without incident. She was well anti-nausea-drugged up, and we've had no problems yet this time. Right now we are feeling very upbeat and hopeful, and this whole mess seems absolutely manageable. Our biggest worry right now is how to work letting Abbie swim, since we don't want to have to change her dressing too often, but it needs to be changed whenever she gets wet. In the scheme of things, this is by no means a terrible problem to have. :)

Chris' sister is getting married this weekend, so our focus is shifting somewhat this week from our own insanity to hers. Another good problem! I'll update with more pictures of the house as I #1 - get the time and #2 - unpack enough to have some decent pictures. In the meantime, here's another picture of the yard, with three happy little girls about to jump into our new pool for the first time.

Timeline of Torture

Here's a rough estimate of how things have gone down with our move. Keep in mind that in between the points I list here are countless other irritations and frustrations, but to list them all would take about a week.

• May17 we put an offer in on a house. This is the day Abbie is diagnosed with a brain tumor
• May 21 - we hear from our agent that the offer has been accepted. The ball is set to begin rolling on Tuesday the 13 of June.
• Abbie's broviac surgery is scheduled for June 12. The hospital assures us that they will get us out of there in time to close on our house.
• June 12- while in the OR waiting room, we hear the the closing on our house has been cancelled. After much discussion, a new date is set for June 14, in the morning, before we close on our new house.
• June 13- the closing on our house is again cancelled. We again reschedule everything for later the next day.
• June 14 - the closing is AGAIN cancelled. At this point, our house is full of family who have come to help us move. We spend the day putzing around the half-empty house. Chris goes on the offensive, taking over for our realtor and negotiating everything himself. We are hopeful that things will be fixed by the next day, and we decide to keep the movers we hired, and ask them to hold our stuff overnight if need be.
• June 15 - Both closings are scheduled for this afternoon, after Chris literally tracks down the selling agent using the internet, and shows up at her office. He speaks to everyone involved, including the lender of the guy buying our house. He learns nothing good about our own agent. ONE HOUR before the scheduled closing on our house, it is again cancelled.
• We are now just waiting to see what happens. For now we are scheduled to close on our house tomorrow, but who really believes that? We have not heard back from the selling agent on the house we wanted to buy, so who knows if that will go through??? The movers are booked through the weekend, so if we can't move into a new house tomorrow, they will have to re-move our stuff back into our old house.
• If things do not go through tomorrow, we are not going to move at all. We will cancel both house sales, and just unpack back into our old, cramped, but now sparklingly clean townhouse.

I think we've cycled through a few of the stages of grief, landing us in "complete ambivilance to everything" with an occasional occurance of "angry enough to chew off the nose of the next person to look cross-eyed at us."

Have a good night! I'm off to lay down on our bare floor and pretend to sleep while gnashing my teeth to a fine white powder.

Baby is fine, house is a mess

This is a tough post to write because I am really, really angry. I mean seeing-red-wish-we-were-still-in-Old-Testament-times-so-that-we-could-do-some-smiting angry.

First off, though, Abbie is doing just fine!

The broviac was put in on Monday, and she was given her first chemo dose on Tuesday afternoon. The delay (from Mon to Tues) was due to the pharmacy in the hospital dragging their feet on getting the meds to us, irritating, but not a huge deal in the scheme of things. Abbie was pretty sick Tuesday night; she threw up for the first time around 8pm and didn't really stop until 5 the next morning. Once we had established that she wasn't dehydrated (I think that extra day on the IV probably helped us here,) the hospital ordered some anti-nausea meds for her, and they worked like a charm. So right now she is happily watching tv in the living room, munching on Cheerios.

It's a big relief to have the chemo start off so uneventfully, and I really wish that I could say the same for our plans to move, but......We were supposed to close on our house on Tuesday, it is now Friday and we are no nearer the end than we were a week ago. Due to some really extreme imcompetence on the part of our real estate agent, along with the stupidity of the buying agent and the evilness (oh yes, the evilness) of the selling agent, we may not move after all.

This all began with a call Chris recieved in the OR waiting room, during Abbie's surgery, and things very swiftly went downhill from there. As you might imagine they would, when your agent decides to drop a bomb on you while you are waiting for your daughter to get out of surgery. At this point, I have no idea what is going to happen; Chris is about to morph into Mad Max today and we'll see what he is able to accomplish.

My only question right now, though, is -- Does anybody know of a real estate agent who is not either incompetent or evil? Because from this vantage point, looking over the real estate landscape looks very similar to the way I imagine Hell.

Today.....

......I am so thankful for family. Uncle Mike, Colleen and Aunt Patty showed up here last night, and today they packed up the entire house in one fell swoop. And more re-enforcements are at this moment on the way to help with the unpacking!

.....I felt so guilty as I carried my sweet baby up to her crib, as she teasingly pointed out her "stinky feet," knowing that tomorrow she will be so upset to find herself back at the hospital. This poor baby, who is beginning to really recover from her last surgery, only to be hurt again tomorrow. This surgery is such a little thing, and I have been calm about it all week. But tonight, watching her giggle without any worries, it just feels like it is too much -- too much to yet again starve her all day and then end it by terrifying and hurting her. We have to do it, we would be bad parents if we didn't, but I just wish it didn't feel like we are bad parents because we do.

permissive parenting?

Abbie's PT came yesterday, just in time to witness her take a temper tantrum with gusto. She wanted to play in the exersaucer but I said, "No," because I didn't want her to be tired out before the physical therapy session. She was unhappy with this answer, and right at that minute came the knock on our door. When Abbie recognized it as the guy who had been poking her earlier in the week, she absolutely lost it.

So, at least he was able to witness her new ability to roll onto her stomach from her back (with the added enhancement of kicking legs and wailing). The best thing, though, the thing that made me almost giddy with happiness was when she slapped me.

I don't in general condone hitting around here -- in fact, I bet the girls would claim that I am pretty adamantly against it. But on Monday, when the PT was testing Abbie's arm strength, all she could do was cry, "all done! all done!" while her arm hung limply in his hands. Today, she pushed him with her other hand, twisted herself to get away from him, and then in anger flailed out at me, slapping me right on the forehead. I looked over at Chris, and the expression on his face exactly expressed how I felt.

He was smiling, almost laughing.
She slapped me!
We are so proud!

Chemo update

Monday is the day, officially. We'll go in, have the broviac inserted, and then Abbie will be given her first dose of chemotherapy. We'll be kept overnight so that they can monitor her reaction and train us in maintaining the broviac (which should get her good and angry.)

And then -- back home just in time to close on our current house, finish packing and move.

Pity Party

So, all day yesterday and today I have been doing all of the necessary address-switching and turn on/turn off-ing, ect in preparation for our move next week. Let me repeat -- I spent ALL DAY YESTERDAY AND TODAY doing this. I was laughing this morning with Chris about how I've already memorized our new address.

To find out that the real estate agent for our new house LIED about the zip code so that the house would pop up as a swankier location. So the zip code I was using ALL DAY YESTERDAY AND TODAY is wrong. Which means that I have to do it all, all over again.

I really need a drink.

Wanna see something amazing?

Behold the power of the exersaucer!!! Vanessa, I can't thank you enough for lending this to us! It wasn't in our house five minutes before Abbie was sqawking to be put in it, and she wasn't in it four seconds before she stood up and remained standing while playing with the yellow duck! The physical therapist recommended this to us, and boy! was he right. She spent a good half an hour in there (about 20 minutes longer than we've been able to get her to sit upright at one time before), and was spinning herself around by the end.

To everyone who last saw Abbie in the week following her operation -- can you believe these pictures??? I can hardly believe them myself.

Miracle? I couldn't say for sure, but from this end it's looking suspicious.

At last!

A long, long awaited event has finally taken place here ................


Katie lost her first tooth!

She has been growing her big teeth behind her stubborn baby ones for a few months now, and I was beginning to despair that they would ever come out on their own. We actually had an appointment with the dentist, where I anticipated some forced tooth removal, but we had to cancel it due to the issues with Abbie.

So I'm grateful for this, at least! She was very brave, and let Chris pull it out this morning after he realized that it was hanging on by a thread. And now we just have to wait for the tooth fairy!

So does anyone know where to buy a tooth pillow?

First appointment with PT

Abbie had her first PT session at home this morning, and it went really well. She was still pretty suspicious of the guy, but he was able to evaluate her and show me some excersises to do with her. We'll meet with him again later this week, but after testing her reflexes and watching while I tried to make her support herself on her feet some, he believes that she could be walking in a matter of weeks. I am just so happy to hear this!!! So keep up the prayers, and hopefully she'll be on the right track soon!

Oh, and for the record, I haven't been given a date yet for the broviac placement. I have a sinking feeling that it is not going to happen until next week -- just in time for our move. Hooray.

Dangerous

I've already packed away most of the girls' clothes, so it's sometimes tough to find weather-appropriate, clean, matching outfits for one or two of them. The only shorts I have for Abbie this morning are purple, so I ended up having to open a box of clothes to find a shirt to match it. After digging around in the box a bit, the only one I came up with was one with the words "I'M THE BIG SISTER" printed across the front.

The words were just the right shade of purple, and I really thought about putting it on her.

But then I really thought about putting it on her.

Matching is overrated. She can wear green.

Abbie before and after sugery

I can't get these dumb pictures in the right order, so I'll just say which are which. The picture with Abbie in a peach shirt on the phone is from the night before her surgery. The closeup of her face is 2 days post-op. The one with Beth is the same day, when we celebrated Beth's 5th bday in the hospital. The one with Abbie in a wagon is the from the day before we were discharged from the hospital. She really, really loved being pulled around in that wagon. I mean, really loved it. Chris once spent a solid two and a half hours pulling her around the hosptial!

First appt with oncology

Abbie is going to be set up with what is called a broviac in the next week or two. It's sort of like an IV line that is surgically implanted into a larger vein, so that she won't have to be re-stuck every time she goes in for chemo or has to have bloodwork done. This is pretty standard for chemo patients, and I'll be grateful to not have to hold her down anymore while people poke around her veins trying to find one that works.

So, chemo treatments start this coming week or the next, depending on when they can schedule the broviac placement. We had been hoping to have a little more time before starting all of this, but her doctor feels that it is just too risky, because the tumor is so close to her breathing and swallowing centers.

The good news is that the tumor is grade 1, and her chemo treatments are going to be on the far end of low on the spectrum. So there is a chance that she will stay healthy (and keep her hair) for the entire duration. It's one of those things that we will just have to wait and see about -- she may tolerate the medication very well, or she may get some of the side effects (nausea, lethargy, weakened immunity, hair loss). There is no way to really predict it, unfortunately.

Hopefully I'll hear today about when she'll be scheduled for the broviac. It is considered a surgery, and we may need to be admitted for a day so that they can train us on maintaining it, etc. We'll see. The PA mentioned being admitted several times, but the actual doctor didn't seem to think it was a given.

In case you haven't heard....

- Two weeks ago, Abbie was diagnosed with a benign fibrillary astrocytoma (probably spelled wrong). It is a tumor that reaches from her brain stem down into her spine.
-We were admitted immediately to Children's National Hospital in DC, where we were told that she needed surgery to at least biopsy the tumor, and remove as much of it as was possible.
-The tumor is actually embedded in her spinal cord, so it was likely that she would sustain major damage from surgery.
-She was operated on on a Friday, and 80% of the tumor was removed, without any major damage. The unofficial word was that it was benign.
-Her arms and trunk are very weak, but functioning, after surgery. It is going to take some physical therapy, but she will eventually regain everything back.
-We are home now, and resting, and glad to be out of the hospital! (Although, everyone there was really incredible.)
-She will need chemotherapy to shrink the tumor that remains in her brain, but it will be on an out-patient basis, and the chemo will be low-dose. It shouldn't take more than a year.

Busy couple of weeks. Keep us in your prayers!

Am I that cranky?

Note left for me from Katie:

I love you no matter what you do I still love you

love, Katie

It's been a busy time

Well! I am sorry about the long break I took from this blog, but I have some very good reasons.

Reason #1 -

Chris and Dante, with some help from Dan, put in a beautiful new wood (laminate) floor in our living room! It is absolutely gorgeous, and it somehow magically makes the rest of the house look much nicer, too. (That may also be due, in part, to the frantic cleaning, purging, and packing I've been doing, though.)

Reason #2

We have been extremely, almost obsessively, preoccupied with the little nest of hatchling on our deck. We monitored the mommy robin while she laid an egg a day for four days, and then stalked her (through the glass door) throughout the two weeks it took her to hatch her little birdies. The four baby birds have just begun to grow feathers now, and they chirp impatiently with open beaks while they wait to be fed. The girls have named them after Katie's current Narnia obsession: Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.

Reason #3

Our house is for sale! Actually, it is almost sold!!!! I don't want to count our chickens before they're hatched (appropriate analogy, given our current bird-watching), but we have a buyer and we are very close to closing the contract. :-) If this goes through, our house will have been on the market a mere day and a half!

And Reason #4, which is the most serious and least positive is this:

Abbie has had a very seriously strained neck for going on three months, and we've been running her all over town to figure out what the deal is. In the meantime, she has been getting worse and worse -- at this point, she can barely move her head from side to side, and she won't move her head up at all. So she is walking around with hunched shoulders, her chin close to her chest.

She has an MRI next week, which will hopefully provide us with some answers. So please say a prayer for her!

So, things are looking to continue on in this hectic way for quite a while, but I promise to try and update this more often. :)

Oh, and the fish?

They're dead.

Suspicious characters

I tried, for the second time in a week, to go to Kohl's today. Chris bought a bunch of stuff there last week and got a voucher for $30, so I wanted to go before it expired. The first attempt was aborted after someone had a temper tantrum in the lobby because only the one-seat carts were left. The second time began much more productively but as always it took twice as long as I had anticipated, and we were pressed for time because it was almost time to pick Katie up from school. So we waited, third in line, for a few minutes while an almost comatose woman sllllooooowly scanned half a dozen candles, pausing after each one to stare blankly at the cash register screen, then slllllooooowly set the candles down on the counter (not in a bag, mind you - that was another step for us to anticipate). After about five minutes of this (number of candles scanned: three) an older woman behind me politely requested the clerk to call for help. So the clerk rolled to a stop, and slllooooowly picked up the walkie-talkie thing, and in a leisurely drawl asked for assistance. Then back to the candles. Sllllooooooowly.

When the woman patiently waiting to pay for her candles produced a coupon, and the clerk again ceased to function as she considered the myriad ways she could process it, I gave up and walked out of the line. And now we come to the point of this whole story -- I left the line, and the clerk again stopped to reassure me that, at some point before closing, someone else might show up to speed things up. I replied that I really couldn't wait any longer because I needed to pick up my daughter from school. The people left waiting were all watching this, probably contemplating whether it was better to follow my example or continue to rot in line. Beth surveyed this scene, and as I rolled the cart in the direction of the door, in her wonderfully loud and clear voice said, "Mommy, are we going to steal this stuff?"

Look up!

This is just a note to tell everyone to check out the new quote under my blog name. I was flipping through an old favorite book of mine (The Little Prince), when I ran across it and realized that it is a perfect description of life in this little house. :)

Truly a force

I wish I could figure out how to put up videos, because it's a real shame to keep the sight of Abbie singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" all to ourselves.

The only word she can actually say is "gone," but she belts it out with all the force of her little personality. That, and The Long Winters "Cinnamon" are the only things that can placate her when she gets fussy in the car, and she sings along to both with gusto. But there is something particularly cute and funny about "Since U Been Gone." It's a breakup song, sort of in the vein of "I Will Survive," and watching our little Kook Attack rocking out to lyrics like, "Since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time!" just knocks me out.

That actually reminds me of another funny story from our trip to Vermont. In the funeral home, Beth was hanging out in an adjoining room with Andy. She told him that she had a song in her head, and asked if he'd like to hear her hum it. Of course he did. So she began, "Ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba ba-ba, hmmm hmmm hmmmmmm hmmmmmmm" Andy recognized it right away. What was she singing? "I Want to be Sedated" by the Ramones. Rock on, little girl.

She knows me too well

A question Katie asks me at least three times each week: "What is your favorite thing to do, Mommy?"
pause
"And you can't say 'sleep'!"

Hiding from the PC police....

Here are two stories, both from the same day (yesterday), both ending with me wanting the ground to swallow me up. Enjoy!

Claire works on color identification
Let me begin by stating that Claire has still not mastered her colors. I've even discussed the possibility of her having color-blindness with her doctor, but at the end of the day it appears that she just doesn't care to learn them quite yet. So........yesterday I was working in the nursery, and Claire was palling around with Kameron, a little boy who usually comes in after pre-school. His mom, for the record, was in the room. They were holding hands, playing some sort of game, when Claire looked down and was suddenly struck by a difference. "Hey Mommy," she said to me, still staring at Kameron, "his skin is a different color." She contemplated his dark complexion for a moment before turning back to me and saying, "I think he is blue."

I need to buy Ho-Ho's more often, I guess
Story number 2, later that same day. I promised Katie and Beth that I would buy them a dessert at the grocery store while they were in ballet class. When the class was over, they both immediately rushed over to interrogote me on what I brought back. It was very crowded (the ballet class is actually held in a gym. A very busy, crowded, yuppie gym), so I was somewhat distracted as I gathered shoes and coats, and I hurriedly answered, "Ho-Ho's" as I threw Katie's slippers into her bag.
"What?" asked Beth in that particularly loud, screechy, traffic-stopping voice she can get sometimes. "What are HOMOS?"
"No," I told her as I desperately tried to hussle them into their coats, "I said ho-ho's. It's like a cake roll...."
But she was undeterred and kept insisting, "What are HOMOS? Mommy, WHAT ARE HOMOS????"
In telling this story today to my mom, she asked me if the people around me were laughing. I have to say that I have no idea - I was so mortified that I didn't even have the courage to look up, I just gathered them up and barrelled out of there as fast as I could.

Fish update #2 - more fish

Our eleven remaining baby fishies are doing well, growing pretty big and hanging around the front of the tank to check us out when we walk by.

The only problem is that they have recently been joined by.......30 new baby fish.

I don't know what to do. These poor babies seem doomed to a cannabalistic dinner, but I don't have another tank to put them into (and we don't really have the room for another tank either.) I'm not even sure the net could pick them up, they are so tiny and delicate. How do I save these fish??? Any advice (beyond flushing them, Mom!!! I know your ways!) would be appreciated.....

update: Chris and I discussed this issue tonight, and what do you think his solution is? They just may be toilet-bound after all.........

Dress shopping with Katie

Katie and I ran to David's Bridal tonight to order bridesmaid dresses - for both Monica and Becky's wedding for me, and a Junior Bridesmaid dress for Becky's wedding for Katie. A saleslady brought us to a changing room, brought us the dresses we needed in various sizes to see which fit, and then promptly dissapeared. She was unfortunately still carrying the paper I had written the dress codes on, which had the directions home on the back. So, after figuring out which sizes to get, Katie and I went on a quest through the chaotic store to find this lady, despite the fact that I could not for the life of me remember what she looked like. Luckily for me, Katie was at my side.

"She had on a black jacket and pants," said Katie. We searched all over the store, but couldn't find a woman wearing a black jacket and pants, but that didn't deter Katie's insistance that she was right.

And she was, of course. I finally gave up and decided to just get in line anyway, but soon afterwards the saleslady walked by. Before she got to us, Katie said, "That's her!" But I so did NOT recognize her face that I wasn't confident that Katie was right. But the saleslady remembered us, and stopped to make sure we were all set.

It's so strange, in a way, to have this tiny little girl at my side in whom I can actually rely. Katie remembers my parking spaces, Katie remembers the grocery lists I mumble to myself before getting to the store and promptly forgetting, Katie remembers all the little things I've never managed to force myself to remember. She's like the miniature embodiment of all the things I am not, and it's cool to watch her, and develop an appreciation for all of these awesome qualities she is teaching me to value.

We made an impromtu (and quick!) trip into Vermont this week for the funeral of Chris' Grandfather. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not really comfortable going into really emotional issues on here; maybe it's the stigma of narcissistic "bloggers," or maybe it's my constant fear of coming across as "cheesey" instead of sincere, but whatever the reason I deliberately try to keep my post on here light. So, I am not going to say much about Chris' Grandfather, who was dearly loved and will be dearly missed. But please pray for his soul, and most especially for the grieving people he left behind.

And now on to our trip tallies:

Hours driven - 20
Incidents of vomitting - 7
Number of "vomit bags" I packed - 6
Number of words exchanged with Becky at rest stops (who was following behind us in her car) during the first two hours of the trip, during which all 7 vomits occured - maybe five, and those were limited to things like, "Have a plastic bag?"
Number of times Becky repeated the offer (made before leaving from home) to take a couple of the girls in her car - NONE!

And here are some quotes that are worth preserving (most, you will note, come from Beth):

Beth, to Chris after the funeral mass, "Wow, there are a lot of old people here!"

Beth, to me after being told to please hurry because she was making a very extended trip to the only ladies' room in the funeral parlor, "I think that when people listen through the door and hear my low moaning, they will understand that there's a little girl who is using potty in here."
(Note: "low moaning" are her exact words!)

Claire, to someone she's never met before in her life, "My tights are PINK, see! And I use potty now because I am a BIG GIRL! And Uncle Andy is the biggest and he is my BEST FRIEND!"
(This was repeated several times to several different strangers. Claire clearly thought that the reason for the gathering was purely to show off how cute she can be.)

Katie, yelling down the entire length of the funeral home (to the extreme amusement of the funeral director), "Mom, are you going to the BATHROOM?"

St Patty's Day tradition

This is another tradition I did NOT plan on, but last year I made "green eggs and ham" for dinner on St. Patrick's Day. (I just tinted eggs and ham green - the ham looked more black than green, but whatever.) Everyone hated it. Chris thought it looked disgusting, and the girls are no Sam-I-am. So it was a shock when Katie and Beth asked me, hopefully, if I was going to make green eggs and ham again for St. Patty's Day. I was at a loss to come up with a meatless Irish dinner, anyways, since it was on a Friday, so I decided to go ahead and make it again, except that instead of ham we had pancakes. Tinted green, of course. For whatever reason, they LOVED it this time! Claire and Katie gobbled up their bright green cheese omlettes (with white cheese, no orange around here!) just as eagerly as they ate the pancakes (which were brown on the outside but still kept the bright green on the inside.) Go figure. So a new tradition is born, one that Chris is not exactly thrilled about but what can I do? The people have spoken.

(By the way, I am aware that pancakes and omlettes aren't exactly "Irish" foods, but that's why I dye them green. What is an "Irish meal" anyways? Corned beef? Blech. Beef stew and potatoes are OK, but they hardly feel like a celebration meal, you know?)

Proof of bad parenting

So........I'm having a kind of bad morning. I was up several times last night with cranky kids (bad dreams and teething, and a wet bed all in one night. Fun!) Chris is sick, and I am still dissapointed about having to cancel a trip to see my family this weekend. So this has been a lax morning so far -- Abbie and I are still in our PJs (which really impressed the Mormons who just stopped by), and I let the older girls dress themselves. So, just in case anyone is under the assumption that we've got it together around here (small chance, but still...) here is the proof of my poor parenting:

Claire's outfit:

On top of that, the girls asked if they could put on temporary tatoos. I let them, but did not monitor the application process. The result? Beth put hers ON HER FACE:

And exhibit #3 detailing my poor parenting, here is Abbie with a face smeared with snot. I'll clean her up........eventually:

update: while typing this, Claire wet her pants, so she is now, at least, wearing pants that match her shirt. And my motivation to take a shower just increased by quite a bit.

Mom, this is for you

Katie overheard me talking to my mother about her illness (she has pneumonia). Katie also knows that we were supposed to go into Pittsburgh this weekend for a visit, but had to cancel due to my (bleeping) back. So, with her ability - inherited from Chris- to think ahead and predict what will happen and how people will feel, Katie realized that Grandma Niccoli must be feeling pretty down this weekend, and she wanted to make her feel better. So here it is. I'm proud of my sweet girl.

Sacrifice Beads

In case you can't tell, I'm trying to make up for the two weeks I lost on here while recovering from my back. :)

So last week the girls went to "K4J," a religion class we go to once a month. Every month introduces a different virtue, and the theme this month is "Sacrifice." So Katie and Beth were both given St. Therese beads to use during Lent.

St. Therese and her sisters (she was the youngest, I think, of 5) used to make these things called "sacrifice beads," a string of beads that is tied together in a way that allows you to pull them along the string. On the top is a crucifix, and the deal is that every time you make a sacrifice, you pull a bead towards the crucifix. The goal is to pull all your beads during the day. However, for the sacrifice to count, you have to keep it a SECRET. No bragging, no comparing sacrifices, it should be a secret between you and Jesus.

Well, we've been having a hard time preserving the spirit of that around here. Katie's mouth runs non-stop all day long, so secrets are not exactly her forte. This is a speech I've heard several times a day for the last week: Katie, "I made three sacrifices so far today! Of course, it's a secret. I can't tell you what I did. But can I tell you that I did something that was really hard for me? I think that makes God feel really happy, I like to make some sacrifices but we are supposed to keep it a secret but I can just tell you that mine had something to do with Claire I keep my beads hidden in my pocket so no-one can see them Beth wants me to always see when she pulls a bead but I keep mine a secret it's in my pocket Claire always wants to take my toys but today I did a really good thing pulled a bead keeping it a secret a secret a secret I LET CLAIRE PLAY WITH MY TOY."

Beth, on the surface, does much better, but she has a certain way of advertising her sacrifices , that is actually more noticeable than if she spent all day talking about it. This is a scenario that we've gone through just as often as Katie's little speeches: Beth sits at the table coloring. Katie asks her for the red crayon, Beth hands it to her and then sighs loudly. She then gets up, walks over to the counter where her beads are, picks the beads up, casts a look at Katie, dramatically pulls one, then goes back to her seat. Katie says, "Why did you just pull that bead? Giving me the red crayon was not a sacrifice, you weren't using the red one. That was just doing a favor." Beth replies, "It's a secret." Katie: "I'm just telling you that giving me the crayon was not a sacrifice." Beth: "I can't talk about this because we are supposed to keep our sacrifices a SECRET."

So Katie is slowly going batty, because she is just positive that Beth is pulling beads when she doesn't really deserve to. And Beth, I am almost certain, is deliberately pulling beads in front of Katie because she KNOWS it's driving her crazy.

I think I may need some sacrifice beads of my own, so I have something to pull every time I resist the urge to chuck the beads out the window.

Sweet morning

I woke up this morning to the sound of pounding coming from the hallway. Not even fully awake, I sprang out of bed by pure instinct and rushed downstairs to find.......Katie, Beth and Claire all standing in their bedroom with all the lights on, playing store. Katie explained that they decided to play in their room for a while, to give Chris and I a chance to sleep in.

This is just about the most amazing thing I've ever encounted as a parent. I mean, how sweet and thoughtful is that??? Unfortunately the "store" game involved running up and down the hallway, right in front of Abbie's room, otherwise I would have seriously considered going back to bed and letting them finish their game. I am really hoping, though, that this is a sign of the beginning of the end of our sleep-deprived years. Abbie slept through the night, too, which is something of a miracle! I wonder what life would be like if every night was like this.... Will I even remember how to function on a full night's sleep?

fish update

Well, our fish over-population problem seems to be, uh, resolving itself. We started out with almost 30 fish, but at the last count we were down to around 11. I personally have seen Blueberry gulping down a baby, and Chris has witnessed him at it, too, so, well....I guess we don't have to worry about what to do with all those extra fish.

No sympathy from the peanut gallery

Soooooooooo, I haven't posted in a while because I threw my back out. Very, very pathetic. Claire really summed it up the best when, seeing me laying on the couch (my constant abode for about a week) with my eyes closed, she came up to me and said, "You need to get up -- you're the mom! Remember?"

Got Fish?

It is mainly Katie's responsibility to feed the fish, and she does a great job, hardly ever having to be reminded. As she was feeding the fish this morning, she began to talk about baby fish....The conversation between Katie and Beth hit my pre-coffee ears something like this, " Babies.....blah blah blah.....fish....blah blah blah.....Mommies, fish, babies.....blah blah blahblah." It wasn't until they began squealing with delight that I finally took notice. Of the baby fish in our tank. All 28 of them.

Who was the Mommy and Daddy? We're not sure, but the babies look more white-ish and brown-ish, so we're guessing that Strawberry (the brown fish with scary pink eyes) and Vanilla (self-explanatory) are the culprits. Unless, of course, another 28 fish appear tomorrow looking black-ish, in which case our fish tank is a baccanalia.

So, anyone know what we are supposed to do with over 30 fish in a tank that is supposed to hold less than 10?????

What am I complaining about?

On the way home from school today, Katie brought up something that she has been thinking over.

"I know a way that Mommies get a break," she announced.

She had overheard Chris, just last week, explaining to Becky that we desperately needed her to babysit because we "needed a break." So I guess Katie began to think over whether we were really entitled to said break, and her conclusion was a resounding, "No."

"Mommies put their kids to bed very early," she explained to me, "and I always hear you and Daddy laughing downstairs when I am in bed. So see -- you DO get a break. And you get it every single day."

Oh. Problem solved, I guess.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Consider this a big, grubby hug and kiss for all of you! :) As you can see, our morning began with a lot of candy (with some pancakes and eggs thrown in for good measure, but mostly it consisted of chocolate.) I'll maybe post more pictures of the other girls once we're all cleaned up and looking more respectable.

V-day around here is usually pretty casual and low key. We gave the girls little buckets filled with candy, and some mini coffee cups (for hot chocolate, of course.) Later on, I'll get some chicken nuggets for the girls, and Chris will pick up sushi for us while Claire is in ballet class, and we'll probably eat it while watching some season 2 Battlestar Galactica. We tend to feel overdosed on big holidays this time of year, what with three birthdays, Christmas, New Years, AND our anniversary all coming within a few weeks of each other. So we all just try to be especially considerate of each other today, and pig out moderately on chocolate. :)

This and That

Some random stuff:

The Lobers had their baby! Her name is Isabella (Ella) and she is beautiful! I had the privilege to hold her just over an hour after her birth, and let me tell you......it is a dangerous thing to let any woman of childbearing age hold a newborn! But never fear, I immediately recollected that this tiny darling would not be waking me up in the middle of the night.....and there's a few already living in this house taking up that position. But, anyways, we are just thrilled for the Lobers, and we are honored to have been asked to be her godparents! This means I now have 2 "godchild" ornaments to missplace every Christmas. :)

On an unrelated note: Guess what? Katie and Beth are in ballet class with the daughter of one of the Ravens. (One of the pretty important ones) This, of course, was not discovered until Chris picked them up from class one night. Pretty cool!

SNOW!!!!!!

We love snow! Snow days are one of the things that live up to all of the "magic of childhood" hype that everyone always expects life with small children to provide.

Katie and Claire both woke up in the pre-dawn, because they were so excited about the snow. It was then a loooong few hours for them as I had to wait until I could let them out without waking up all of the sleeping DINKs in the dozen or so houses surrounding our "common area." So to keep them preoccupied we made about a million valentine's day crafts. Katie even constructed some kind of paper-house, complete with cut-out animals to live in it. It's actually really cool. Then we had a huge breakfast (that took me a proportionately huge amount of time to cook, to the girls' frustration). Then, once the kitchen was straightened up and the girls were all bundled up, Chris took the older three out to finally play in the snow. And they loved it! Snowball fights, snow chairs (which they, for some reason, are obsessed with), and an unfortunate dog-attack later (no one is hurt, don't worry!) and the girls were cold, tired, and very very happy. Abbie and I, who had been napping during all of this, were also very, very happy. :) Then later that afternoon, I went out with the girls again (Abbie stayed inside and watched from the window) and we completed the snowman begun that morning. I love making snowmen!

So, it's been a good day. Chris just read them two chapters from the current book, and they are now headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Mmmmm, snow days, You just can't beat it!

Catching up on anticdotes

It's been a while since I've really updated this, so here are a few gems from the mouths of my children, for your reading pleasure.

Beth, from under the covers of her bed, upon being asked why she was crying: No-one takes care of me. I have to take care of myself.

Katie, watching the snow coverage on the news: Why do they talk about how much snow there is? Everybody already knows that, it's not really news.

Abbie, with a wicked grin when she should be taking a nap, "Poopie." (She was not poopie -- it was a ruse to trick me into taking her out of her crib.)

Claire, after having a rough day getting along with Katie, "Beth is my best friend! I love Beth!"

I'm sending out my Christmas cards today.....

...so please don't think, when you get our card in a few days, that you are the only one getting their card so late. I guess I can at least claim the distinction of treating everyone in my life equally, although that just means equally poorly.
See, the thing is........Well, I didn't get the cards out in time for Christmas. I just didn't, I have no real excuse. Then, once the holiday was over and I had the time to settle down and finish them, we made the mistake of going "hard core" on potty-training Claire. And that went very, very badly. So badly, in fact, that we are just now finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The point is, the Christmas cards were kind of pushed to the end of the to-do list. Behind things like clean the bathroom for the 5th time today and pin screaming toddler on the toilet and force her to stay there until she "tinkles" so that she doesn't get a UTI from holding it all day. So, anyways, I apologize for how ridiculously late these cards are. It's a mixture of my own irresponsibility and a really bad month. But hey! I hope you enjoy the picture!

Medievable Times

Here are some pictures from Claire's birthday!

Her birthday presents some difficulties, since she is so limited in what she can eat without throwing up. Cakey, doughy things are absolutely out, so I had some trouble trying to figure out what to make her for her cake, and what to do about breakfast. Some traditions have sort of evolved here, especially involving breakfast. The girls like to wake up to a kitchen decorated for the birthday girl, and have some sort of "big treat" for breakfast. Usually they request cinnamon rolls, but if Claire eats them at all, she usually throws them back up. Coffee cake is out for the same reason, as are pancakes. So what to do? The plan ended up being piling the girls into the car at 6:30am and making a run to Dunkin Donuts. Claire can usually handle the donuts, so that's what we got. Plus I got them some hot chocolate; they see Chris and I getting coffee all the time, so it makes the hot chocolate extra good to them if they can drink it from the styrofoam cups like we do. Plus, they thought it was really cool to go out in their PJs. :)

For her cake, I made a giant chocolate chip cookie. She had requested a Raggedy Ann cake for her birthday, and I was worried that the cookie wouldn't turn out well in the pan, but it ended up just fine and she loved it! Then for dinner we took her to Medieval Times ("Medievable Times," if you ask Beth). Chris and I went to the one outside Chicago back when we were dating, and we just loved it! We had watched a family walking around with several little girls all dressed up as princesses and we, almost admittedly falling in love and both secretly dreaming of what it would be like to start a family together, were just enchanted. I've been dreaming about leading my own troup of little princesses through there ever since. I was so excited, then, when they opened one up here, but when we found out what the ticket prices were (and let's just say, there is not much of a discount for children) we despaired of ever being able to go. However, wonder of wonders, they had a special deal in January where kids could go for free! Ha ha ha! A dream come true for me, and something I knew the girls would just love.

Well, naturally, they just went nuts once we got there! Claire was actually standing on her chair, jumping up and down and yelling at the top of her lungs is support of our knight. Incidentally, our knight was the black-and-white Warrior-Priest, the same knight Chris and I had all those years ago when we were dating. And he won both times!

So Claire had a very happy day, and she was dead asleep in the car before we got home. The 3rd birthday always seems sort of magical to me -- it is the real transition from babyhood to being a "big girl," and Claire had this adorable mix of the un-self-conscous happiness of babyhood, and the sweet, proud excitment of childhood. So cute. Happy Birthday Claire!

More pictures

Okay, I'm going to try one more time to put more bday pics up. If this doesn't work, we'll all just have to wait until my main site is back up and running.

Happy Moment

I just had the best hour of my life..........well, maybe not THE best hour, but it was definitely up there.

You know how working hard makes you appreciate resting more? Or how giving up certain foods make you appreciate just how delicious they are? Well, the same thing goes for time by yourself. I hardly ever get any time truly to myself, and I realize that this is a blessing, to be so surrounded by these sweet little girls. But......quiet and peace are nice, too, and it's a good thing to get a little sometimes, if you can. :)

Chris was home early tonight, so I was able to leave Katie, Beth and Abbie with him while I took Claire to her ballet class. So after dropping Claire off I walked to Starbucks and got myself a big old uber-yuppie skinny latte! And it was the BEST coffee, I drank it while slowly walking back to the gym where the ballet classes are. I could just walk in silence and think, and it was just so wonderful.

Hooray for husbands who help out! And hooray for disgustingly yuppie neighborhoods with Starbucks on every corner! And hooray for little girls, who are so cute when you get away from them!

Exercise in frustration

This morning, I decided to put in a Pilates video that has been gathering dust in our t.v. stand. With Claire still not quite there on the potty-training, going to the gym has become more hassle than it's worth, with the nursery workers pulling me out of class every ten minutes or so to take her to the bathroom.

So I thought it would be less frustrating to just do a video.

Well, 45 minutes later and I have at least worked up a sweat. For any of you who have ever tried Pilates, you should appreciate this: it is MUCH harder to do when balancing a baby on your hip, or having said baby straddle your chest while doing floor exercises. Not to mention the many, many times I had to pause it in order to re-allign the girls (who all, of course, decided to do the video with me) so that no-one got kicked in the face. So, all in all, I got some kind of work-out, but I'm not sure it's the one Denis Austin had in mind.

This is the story of my life right now. Before putting that video in none of them had any interest in me whatsoever. Abbie was happily playing with her drums, Katie and Beth were playing some kind of store game, and Claire was wandering around in her own world. But the moment I ever try to actually get something done they all suddenly swarm like locusts; Abbie desperately needs to be held, Beth suddenly falls ten times in a row, injuring herself in ten different ways, Claire decides that part of her must be touching part of me at all times, and Katie invariably picks this chaotic time to give us all a sound lecture on where we have failed in life.

But while I was gritting my teeth and desperately trying to just get through the video, I knew in the back of my mind that, could I see the scene in my living room through third person, what I would see would be hilarious. Babies hanging off a hassled mother's pants' leg, threee tiny little girls earnestly trying to follow an adult workout, with no idea that they were constantly getting in the mother's space....it's comedy gold. As a way to start your Saturday though...well, I guess there are worse ways!

Things to consider when dealing with me

My mom sent me this email today:

Becca,

In one of our business mags there is a little column- "Did you Know"

the third one down says


On average,a 4-year old child asks 437 questions a day( ask any parent and we already knew that one!!!)


So I figure you listen to:

481 Katie ( 437 + 10% 44= 481)
437 Beth 437
393 Claire-her's may be statements (437 - 10% 44= 393)
305 Abbie- I want (393 -20% 88=305)
24 Chris (men less verbal- no time to get it in)

1640 verbal requests,responses a day.

I bet the best customer service rep in the world does not deal with as much in one day as you!!!!!!!!!


Something to ponder if you have time.

If I have time, indeed!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!!! We spent a wonderful day hanging out with our family here, and although we couldn't be with ALL of our family, everyone was thought of, and loved, and missed.

I've been hearing reports.....

...that some people are actually reading this. So why isn't anyone commenting? Come on, how can I know if anyone (beyond my mom) is reading this if no-one says anything?????

Flying High

Every year, our friendly neighborhood firemen bring Santa around on one of their trucks so that all the kids can wave to him. They always, always hit our neighborhood just after we've put the girls down for the night, and this year was no exception.

I was in the guest room still wrangling with Abbie when I heard the tell-tale sirens, so I jumped up and yelled out, "Girls, Santa's coming!" They knew exactly what I meant. I opened their door just in time to see Katie, in her excitement and fear that she'd miss Santa, take a flying leap out of the top bunk, land (on her feet) on a pillow and go charging out the door. She was like a little Gummi Bear ("bouncing here and there and everywhere.")

This is the kid who never ever, ever (never ever? Never EVER!) makes a move without first analyzing every angle of the situation. This is a girl who solves puzzles before actually putting them together. But at the sound of those sirens she took a rare flight (literally) of fancy and just......let go. So unlike her. But so sweet to see!

And after all that, we still missed Santa. Why do they drive by so fast? Chris eventually picked them all up at once, and carried them (shoeless and coatless and heartbroken) down the sidewalk so that they could at least see Santa as he turned onto the next road. That seemed to satisfy them, and they happily went back to bed after that.

The funniest thing about this is that Katie has been expressing extreme scepticism about Santa this year. She recently asked me how, if Santa is a real person, he hasn't died, because of course all people eventually die. How the heck do you answer that? I just babbled on for a few minutes without really saying anything, and then changed the subject because she had me completely stumped. So not only was it surprising to see Katie so unusually impetuous and childlike, it was surprising to see this reaction to Santa, whom she may not actually fully believe in.

This year has been so cool, with all three of the older girls being so excited and so wrapped up in the magic of Christmas, and last night was just the perfect example. Once I knew Katie had not actually hurt herself, and my heart had begun beating again, I just couldn't help but laugh and laugh and laugh at the whole thing. So cute, so sweet, so innocent and excited! Oh my gosh, Christmas has never been so much fun!

A Christmas Mystery

On Tuesday, while comparing notes at the end of the day, Chris and I discovered that we had identical conversations with Beth in which she claimed to have a solo in the upcoming Christmas Show.

"There is a part of the song that only people with really good voices can sing, and I guess I'm the only one with a really good voice!" said Beth.

Chris asked, "What's the song?"

She couldn't answer. She couldn't remember the song she was apparently going to sing alone in front of the entire school in one day.

What to think? Beth is genuinely pretty gifted musically. I mean, the girl can carry a tune. However, she is not always entirely....reliable. This girl is the reason our fish are named Strawberry, Blueberry, Vanilla, Chocolate and.......Lala Salt. She once told my sister that we gave her a trampoline on her birthday. She was not exactly lying -- we took her to a place where they had trapeze-artists performing, and she watched them. Beth really does not sweat the details -- recieving a trampoline, watching trapeze perfomers -- same basic difference.

So we approached the Christmas Show with anticipation - was Beth really going to have a solo? If so, could she actually get through it, especially since she could not remember the song off-hand?

We needn't have worried, of course. The Pre-School kids filed onto the stage wearing the cutest little choir-angel costumes, and the song began. It was one I've never heard before, but Beth clearly knew the words; her voice was easily five times louder than every other kid up there. The audience was stifling giggles, and Beth breezily belted out the entire song. She did not have a solo, but in the end she was still kind of right -- she may as well have been the only one up there singing; she was definitely the center of attention.

Thanks to "The Grandma who Sews"

This picture isn't the best for showing off the dresses, but it's the best I could do. I made them pose for it before I let them eat their Sunday doughnuts, so they were a little impatient. :)

Grandma Mlinek, the day these came in the mail was a happy one around here! Claire was especially anxious to wear her "Christmas Princess" dress. (Becky will collaborate this as Claire asked, oh many, many times during the ride home from IL, where her Christmas dress was.)

The Big 1

Happy Birthday Abbie! Here are just a few pictures of her day. :) She actually said, "Cheese!" for the first time today while having her picture taken.

Our morning was taken up with ballet lessons, and in the afternoon (after a nice long birthday nap) we went to the fish store to get Abbie's "present" -- some new fish to replace the one who died last week. We've named them Vanilla, Chocolate, and -- there is some dispute over the third one. Abbie named it "Ni," (we thought she would, that is the expression she uses any time she wants something. It's pronounced exactly like the ni in The-Knights-Who-Say-Ni) but Katie insists that we should name it "Strawberry" because it has (very creepy) pink eyes. Time will tell, I guess. I'm rooting for Ni.

Note the cake: I'm pretty proud of this one! My cake decorating skills are slooooowly but surely progressing. Claire gagged while eating it, but I'm not going to take that personally......She does not exactly have a great track record when it comes to cake.

Look for a ton of post-dated updates in the next few days, as I try to catch up on posts I should have written. I just wanted to throw these pictures up in case anyone wanted to see Abbie today. :)

Good old Ottowa

It has been over two years since we made the trek to the Midwest to visit Chris' family on their own turf. The tallies below no doubt give you some indication for the delay, but in any case we were over-due for a visit.

It was a great couple of days! The girls fed their apparently genetic preoccupation with birds, literally, as Mom Mlinek has set up a little bird sanctuary in her backyard. And they had plenty of time to wear Uncle Andy down playing hide-and-seek and whatever other games they've invented that all seem to involve making Andy run around the house. And there were crafts, and cakes to be decorated (for Grandpa Mlinek's birthday), and videos to watch, and videogames to play (uh, for Chris and Andy, not so much for the kids), and weddings to talk about!

Ottowa is always described as a town with very little to offer, but I have to say we found nothing lacking when we came to visit! :)

Oh, and for the curious -- having your father-in-law sit at the dinner table covered in vomit because he doesn't want you to know (as though we didn't!) that he'd been hit and feel bad (as though we didn't!), before quietly sneaking upstairs to change.....priceless.

Thanksgiving Tallies

Hours driven: 24 ish
Accidents (i.e. wet pants): 1
Doses of drammamine consumed: 6
Incidents of vomitting: 8
Grandparents puked on unexpectedly while eating dinner: 1

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just wait till your Daddy gets home.....

Claire is in big trouble today.

Our blinds were not looking great, but they were certainly not this terrible until this afternoon, when Claire decided to practice her ladder climbing skills on the blinds while I was upstairs folding towels. I very much so wanted to beat the tar out of her, but instead I put her in a good long time out and then packed the girls up to go blow some steam off at the gym.

Now, the ceiling light in our van is on a timer, so that it shuts off a minute or so after the door has been closed. We had some trouble with Claire turning the light to "on," as in "on all the time" a few months ago, but I thought we had resolved that little issue. Guess not. No gym for us, because the car won't start.

Um....why did we have kids? I can't remember. I'm pretty sure our reasons didn't include having our stuff destroyed, and our car killed a week before Thanksgiving.

On days like this, I often will have that old nursery rhyme running through my head -- you know, the one that ends:
She gave them some butter without any bread
Then spanked them all soundly
And sent them to bed.

Sounds like good advice to me.

Our Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

The older two girls and I just came back from a trip into Pittsburgh and I'm due to write an update about that, but first I have to talk about this crazy day we've had.

First off, we are all okay. No one has been seriously hurt. But I couldn't tell you, with one disaster succeeding another today, how we've managed to stay whole.

The morning began badly; Abbie again woke up every few hours all night, eventually just refusing to go back to sleep around 6am. My state of mind was much like a fox caught in a trap -- you know, the ones who chew their own legs off to escape? Yeah, I wasn't doing so good. So Chris got up to let me sleep the last half-hour before we needed to get ready for school. Around 6:45, Claire woke up and promptly fell down the steps, doing some bizarre move that - according to Chris - resembled a cartwheel. She landed directly on top of Abbie.

Lots of crying, and a few years off the old heart for Chris, but in the end they were both okay. I got up and we took off for school. On the way, the girls and I stopped to pick up something at the grocery store and while we were in line Beth and Claire started climbing on the side of the cart. I told them to stop it repeatedly, but got distracted when it was time to pay. So, you guessed it, the cart came crashing over onto its side, pinning Beth under it. The scariest thing was that Abbie had been in the seat. I remember the whole thing as a hazy slow-mo, but I think that I managed to grab Abbie's jacket enough to keep her head from crashing onto the floor, plus I think Beth's poor little body cushioned the blow for the baby. The immediate aftermath, though, was pure chaos. Everyone was crying, including the checkout clerk. Abbie's nose was covered in snot as she screamed, and I didn't know which kid to comfort/check over/berate first.

I gathered them all together - Abbie still screaming - and headed for the parking lot, while several pairs of hostile eyes followed me out of the store. I am sure that there will be many dinner-table discussions tonight about that awful woman who had too many kids to handle. *Sigh*

Once safely back in our car, though, I was able to check Abbie out enough to feel fairly sure that she didn't have a concussion. Beth was just fine, beyond being frightened. And I doubt I'll have to remind any of them not to climb on the cart again.

So from Katie's school we proceeded with our usual routine, heading over to my gym. No sooner did we walk into the gym than Claire -- I don't even know how she did this -- closed her hand in the door. She's okay, though, despite that being her third trauma before 9am.

Oh, and Chris? When he woke up, for no reason that we can discern at all, his left eye had swollen to about twice its usual size. He looks a little bit like Rocky after the fight, without all the bruises.

I think we're just going to chill at home for the rest of this day. I just wish that I had a padded room.

Update:
It actually gets worse. Someone had to go out again today, to pick Katie up from school. On their way home, Chris and Katie were almost in an accident. They hit a slick part of the road, smacked off of the curb and made a complete donut, stopping just a foot or two from a (very big) ditch.

How many calamities can you dodge in one day? I don't want to test that quota.

Lord of the Menopausal Women

This past weekend, we drove into Pittsburgh to accompany Grandma Niccoli to the newest Michael Flatley extravaganza. I have to say that my girls, especially Katie and Beth, have been obsessed, absolutely obsessed, with an old VHS of Riverdance they found downstairs. They have the opening dance number memorized, with all three of them beginning with the group routine and then Beth breaking off to do Michael Flatley's part. It's very impressive. Katie also does a killer rendition of the Spanish dance.

So my mom has tried to capitalize on this to the fullest, since it gives her an excuse to indulge her crush on Michael Flatley. Needless to say, when she found out he was coming into Pittsburgh -- we were there!

Seriously, though, I have to say thank you to her for the tickets. I hate to admit it, but we had a really good time. The girls loved the show, and I had fun watching all the old women in the audience go crazy. And, bonus!, Michael Flatley managed to stay mostly clothed most of the time. (I cannot say the same for his young female dancers, however.) So thanks to Mom for the tickets, Margaret and Rachel for the sarcasm, the kids for the innocent enjoyment, and Charlotte (my mom's friend from high school) for the crazed applause that reminded me of my days as a New Kids on the Block teeny-bopper.

A successful Halloween

I think this picture pretty accurately sums up our night. :)

Someday, when I finally get our main website up and running, I will post all our Halloween pictures, but for now this one was too good to keep to myself!

Edited to add: I thought I should put up a picture of all three of them, so you could at least see how they looked. Katie was Maid Marion, Beth was a rag doll, "Not Raggedy Ann, just a regular rag doll," and Claire was a kitty-cat. Abbie was sort of a fairy (She was just wearing regular clothes, but I threw some wings on her while she sat in the backpack), but those pictures will have to wait for the main website.

Double dipping

We went to an All Saints Day party today. "Double dipping" refers to the fact that we kind of walk the line when it comes to secular vs religious traditions -- today the girls dressed up as Saints and got some candy at a church party; tomorrow its princesses, cats and rag dolls and even more candy! Some people choose to do the All Saints thing as a way to avoid the dark and gory undertones of Halloween, while still giving their kids a chance to dress up. We're not really opposed to Halloween (OK, I love Halloween) but the All Saints parties can be fun, too, plus we get to learn more about the Saints. So we do both. :)

Anyway, Beth was co-erced into being Joan of Arc (I think she's a cool saint, but all my girls wanted to be "pretty" saints. Beth finally agreed to let me live vicariously through her, bless her.) She was waiting to leave, all decked out in her armour and helmet, sword and cape while I simultaneously dressed Claire and lectured Beth on St. Joan's life. While I was explaining St. Joan's bravery and her love of God, Beth leveled a deadpan look at Chris, and with a steely voice said, "I'll kill you."

Uh, I guess she couldn't get past the sword and helmet. Katie knew her saint down cold (She was the Blessed Mother - she likes to be the top dog. (: ) Claire was St. Elizabeth of Hungary, but since Claire can't even remember her own age half the time, I wasn't going to stress about her biography. So most of our prep time involved talking about how Joan of Arc dressed up as a boy and led an army (very interesting stuff to little girls.) We briefly talked about her martyrdom, but the girls were so horrorfied at the thought that I quickly moved on to other subjects. Later at the party, however, when asked to describe her saint Beth responded with,"I was tied to a tree and set on fire."

So much for avoiding the dark and gory element of Halloween.

Big Events

Katie had her birthday party today, and her Pittsburgh cousins (Annie, Emma, Sara and Megan)all came down to join in.

I know that all of the Chesters are eventually going to hear this, so I may as well tell the story myself: Uncle Mike and Colleen left Pgh at 5am to make it to our place in time. I am sure that they were very tired when they arrived at my house. I am sure that they were looking forward to relaxing for a bit before the party. I am sure that they were not expecting to find me in the process of making fleece hats when they arrived. I am sure that, even had they known my intention to make the hats as a party hat/favor, they would never have guessed that at 11am the day of the party (due to begin promptly at 3) I would have completed exactly four of the seventeen hats I needed to make. When they woke up at 4am in the morning, I am sure that neither of them even considered the thought that they would need to hand sew a dozen (ugly)pink fleece hats before their frazzled, unshowered neice would even think to offer them lunch.

As well, I'm pretty sure that my mom had no intention of running to WalMart at midnight the night before, in search of a sewing maching. I'm sure my mother thought that the days of dealing with my project procrastination ended when I came home with that green mortarboard perched on my head. However I am grateful for the sewing machine, and I do plan to utilize it. :)

I am sure that there is plenty of talk going on behind my back due to this, but they were all very kind, and most importantly, helpful, so all I can say is.........thank God for family! :-)

Claire blows my cover

Grandma Mlinek has been in visiting, giving Chris and I the chance to go away for a night and giving the girls a chance to craft their little hearts out. Fun has been had by all. :)

Today, however, Claire decided that it was time to blow the whistle on the whole tender-loving-mother persona I've tried to adopt. I was obliged to remind Claire in mass that it is important to remain quiet (she seems to think that, as long as she is repeatedly saying "Jesus" and/or telling other people -- in this case, her Aunt Becky -- how to behave during mass, she should be free to talk as much as she pleases.) I utilized the standard low-whisper-directly-into-the-ear manuver that most mothers know and love. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it wasn't too terribly harsh because, really, she wasn't being too terribly bad. But Claire immediately deflated, and slunk over to her Grandmother to sadly proclaim, "Mommy spanks me all the time!"

Day of days

It's funny how traditions start -- I've labored long and hard over designing "traditions" for our family, but the ones that seem to stick are the ones that evolve out of who-even-knows-where. I decorated the kitchen on Monday night, because it is now expected that I will do so. I also made cinnamon rolls, because apparently we now can't have birthday mornings without them. When Katie woke up, she immediately put on the "birthday crown." None of these are things I ever planned to do every single birthday, but it would crush the girls to not wake up to them.

Her favorite gift so far is a harmonica, believe it or not. While she has been in school today I've already broken up several fights between Beth and Claire over the harmonica. (They are trying to take advantage of it while Katie isn't around to claim her ownership.) Suddenly the girls are hearing harmonicas in every song we play, from Coldplay to Veggie tales.

A technical post

I've recieved a couple of questions about adding comments to these post, so I've been poking around to see what it is exactly that you need to do in order to comment. It looks like you need to set up a sign in -- but it's fairly easy. I don't think you need to worry about this site spamming your email or anything, it's pretty secure. So you just need to pick a username, give them your email, pick a password, then you're all set. Once you log in, you can comment to your heart's desire here. And please do! :)

Abbie is very cute

Abbie is the chubbiest, cuddliest, sweetest little baby ever! This entire household dotes on her, and random people are always coming up to me to gush over her. Having been through this baby stage three times before, I have some perspective on the gushers and Abbie definitely generates more than average.

Right now she is entranced with a blue plastic paddle-ball we have, because she can look through the plastic and see everything in a blue cast. She'll often spend a good 20 minutes just staring into it, then lowering it and to look at the "real" colors, then looking into it again. This is just the sort of thing they mean when people talk about re-discovering wonder through your kids. I mean, the living room looks pretty cool in blue; I don't think I would have thought about it on my own. :)

Recovering our youth

Chris and I went to a concert last night and it was so, so, so nice! The girls were happy in the hands of Aunt Becky and soon-to-be Uncle Dante, and we were happy getting a dose of rejuvenating tonic from The Old Crow Medicine Show.

We discovered an incredible new idea for retirement, as well! (Is it a little bit sad that we are already thinking about this?) It became apparent throughout the show that the group of older people in the front row were actually.......groupies. It seems they follow the band around from city to city! At the very least, they see a LOT of the shows. How cool is that? And trust me, if there is any band worth following around, it is this one.

All about Claire

Here are just some quick anticdotes from the past few days:


*I came home from a solo run to the store and was greeted by a mournful Claire who promptly announced, "Daddy spank me long time." I asked her what happened, and she just repeated, with her little frownie face, "Daddy spank me long time." Turns out that she had deserved a good walloping, but really only recieved a quick swat on her diapered behind. (The fact that she, who is almost potty-trainined, was diapered should give you a clue as to her transgression.) But she clearly felt wronged and would randomly repeat throughout the day, "Daddy spank me long time." Later on, when Chris had to reprimand Katie for hitting, Claire (clearly not intimidated by the earlier incident) ran up to Chris and yelled, "You hit me! Right here!"

*After a particularly harrowing mass, we were discussing whether the kids had forfitted our usual Dunkin' Donuts trip. We decided to go ahead and get the donuts, since the real culprit had been Claire, and the other girls had really just been reacting to her. Claire, however, felt differently I guess as she declared from the middle seat, "I did good job today, I pray to God!"

*At my gym, they leave out a bowl of dum-dums for the kids to have as they leave. This is Tradition (capital T!). Claire has been in the habit of sharing hers with Abbie in the car, and Abbie now squeals and bounces the moment I approach the "lollipop office" because she knows what is coming. I have to walk across the entire gym to get to there, and she is agitated the entire time in anticipation. All because she gets a few licks of Claire's lollipop. :)

*Last night was a rough, rough night with Abbie who woke up at 2:30 and then refused to go back to sleep. I lost track of time, but Chris remembered seeing the clock hit 4am before he finally just tuned her out and fell back asleep. So I tried to doze while the smaller girls were napping (Katie and Beth have "quiet time" with a movie and a room full of their best toys in the basement.) I woke up to the sensation of sticky little fingers smoothing my hair down, and a Care Bear snuggled in my arms. Claire bent down and kissed me on the forehead before proceeding to join her sisters in the basement. Yes, she did not take much of a nap, but yes I let that sweet thing go on down.

Cheeburger Cheeburger

We went out to eat today, something we do very rarely. Wrangling four kids in a restaurant is usually the opposite of fun and relaxing, but today we really had a nice dinner. Everyone was in a good mood, nobody puked, no potty emergencies; just a nice happy dinner with four sweet kids. It was Katie's turn to pick where we went, and we complimented her on her choice to which she responded (and this is a direct quote), "Yes, I'm glad we came here because everyone seemed to enjoy it." Later in the car, she asked if anyone had anything to say to her.....it turns out she was looking for a "thank you." As far as she was concerned, she had just treated us to dinner.

The funniest moment, though, was when the waitress announced that a woman behind us had eaten their famous one-pound burger. After the announcement, the humiliated woman was subjected to applause and then photographed standing next to a giant stuffed hamburger. The girls were naturally very impressed with this, and Katie began urging Chris to do it himself one day. "You could do it, I know you could" she told him in all sincerity, "because you have a big belly and I know that hamburger would fit in there!"

You better be good for goodness' sake.....

Katie has not seen any obvious evidence in preparation for her birthday, and this is making her very nervous. She finally asked me yesterday why I haven't bought her presents yet.

I said, "How do you know if I have or not?"
Said Katie, "I always know everything you do. I know everything you and Daddy do, I see what you do during the day and I listen to you when I go to bed at night!"

Whew! The funny thing is, she isn't far wrong. She does pay attention to every little thing, and I'm sure she guesses at more than I realize. So you'd better watch what you say and do when you come visit us -- Katie is watching.