Straight from the source

I went down to the basement to check on Lucy after putting Ruth down for her nap, and as I got to the bottom of the steps it became pretty clear that the air there had recently been polluted.

"Can you smell that stinky?" Lucy asked me.  I nodded.
"Do you know who did it?" she asked.
"Well, Lucy," I said, "You're the only one down here."
She shrugged her shoulders, as though that was not the answer she was looking for.
"Also I knew it must be me," she said, "because...you know, 'She who felt it, dealt it.' "

If you ask "What time is it?" in this house, this is the inevitable answer:

Despite my last post full of uncertainty and angst....

....one of my kids just said something that has me laughing too much to keep to myself.

So a dirty little secret of mine is this:  I can't remember anybody's actual first word.  There are certain words that each of my kids, as babies, uttered that have stuck in my mind (like Katie saying, "What's that?" but pronouncing it "Whaaaatsssssuuuuuupp?" right when it was a catchphrase due to those commercials.)  So when my kids ask me what their first word was, I just make something up.

Well, this was the topic of conversation yesterday during breakfast.  I told Claire that her first word was "Dup" (meaning "cup" - something she demanded constantly.)  I told Beth that her first word was "jump!" which I actually think might be true.  When Lucy asked me what her first word was, though, I paused for a moment to think something up and instead of waiting she declared that she could remember herself.

"Really?" I said.
"Oh, yes," she said.
"So what was it?" I asked.
She looked at me with her blunt, frank little face and confidently announced what her first word was.
"Beer!" said Lucy.

Tell me my kids aren't the coolest

Seriously.  I cannot tell you how proud it makes me that this is the way they spend their Christmas vacation:

7 Quick Takes, wherein Lucy is released into the Wild

-1-

Lucy started Preschool this past Tuesday.  It's at a local Nature Center, and I think it is going to be a good fit for her.  I haven't, in general, been a big fan of Preschool but I could tell that Lucy both needed a primer on how to behave in a classroom and that she was desperate to go to school like her big sisters.  This program is only two days a week and is "nature-based" which translates into playing outside and taking a lot of walks, with some visits from awesome animals thrown in.  (They've already visited the barn owls they keep on the grounds and have begun to raise horseshoe crabs!)  

-2- 

We are wondering if this will signal the end of the Imaginary Classroom:  Rosie,who lives above a coffee-shop and has hot chocolate every morning, the wise teacher Mrs. Orangie Power, who once died of a broken leg and whispered to Lucy with her last breath, "Don't be afraid of ghosts!"  (Mrs. Orangie Power eventually resurrected, although the details on that are unclear.)  I will be kind of sad to see it all go.  It's been fun to see the crazy things Lucy comes up with, like her 'second-best' imaginary friend Amy, who had a pet stink bug, not to mention the fact that Orangie Power is a freaking awesome name and it makes me happy every time I hear Lucy say it.

-3-

After her first day of school, Lucy said that she was a little homesick but had fun.  (She also told me all the details so that I could tell everyone else - she did not want to waste her own time repeating herself.)  

The second day, when I asked her how her day was, Lucy said, "I had a lot of fun!  I didn't miss you at all!  Actually, I forgot you existed!"

I'm going to take that as a good sign.

-4- 

Claire had an incident in lunch this week.  A boy started harassing her about the size of our family, telling her that "Eight people in one family is too much!" etc.   She held her own and told him that he must be unhappy with his own family if he was focusing so much on hers.  (Claire, at 8, is sometimes remarkably insightful.)  It all worked for the good, though, because now this boy is not allowed to sit anywhere near her during lunch.  He's been a thorn in her side for years now, so I'm glad she gets a break.

Still, this is the first time any of the girls have encountered a really negative attitude towards having six sisters.  Claire handled it well and didn't get unduly upset, yet still...The whole thing makes me sad.

 -5-

I stole my neice and nephew for a few hours earlier this week, and I'm sorry Becky but I couldn't help myself!

I could not get him to stay still enough to take a unblurred picture, which cracks me up.  He may end up wearing Minnie-Mouse shoes when he comes here, but this kid is always all-boy!

-6-

Yesterday, while I was putting Ruth to sleep and Chris was picking up the Girl Scouts, Lucy went on a rampage of sorts.  She opened the Ovaltine and ate about a third of the powder with a spoon, then she went into the bathroom and ate 3 Children's Chewable Tylenol tablets.

The positives:  I got to catch up with my good friends at Poison Control.  The medicine cabinet was in need of a good cleaning-out anyways (I found some stuff we haven't used in close to a decade, stuff I'm mystified ever survived the move.)  I have one less portion of dessert to worry about for the next week, as Lucy is most definitely cut off.  Ah, and I realized that she can reach the faucet just fine so the stool (which gives her access to the medicine cabinet as well) is now comfortably nestled in storage.

-7-

I just made this blanket for friends of ours who just had a baby (incidentally also named Ruth).

This is by far the best blanket I've ever made.  I think I'm finally getting the hang of it!  I'm also now just finishing up an epic blanket that I've been making for Lucy.  I began it two years ago, so it feels good to almost be finished!  I'll post a picture once it's done.

Thanks to Jen at Conversion Diary for hosting 7 Quick Takes!

One of the major benefits of having the older girls in school....

....is that the non sequiturs of Miss Lucy are easier to catch.

WARNING!  The second story in this post is pretty explicit.  I've actually put some thought into ways to clean it up, but there is no other way to convey the horror of that moment but to come out and say it.

1- Daddy's Girl

Not five minutes after the girls left on the bus this morning, Lucy sat down next to Ruth and I on the living room floor and said:

"So, Mommy, did you have to fight all the other girls so you could marry Daddy?"

"Fight the other girls?" I asked, not quite following.

"Yes," she said, "all the other girls wouldn't want to marry that other guy*, so did you fight them?"

I thought about it for a second, then answered,"Yes.  I had to fight all the other girls, and I won."

2- Thank God there were no men at the park!

Later that same morning, we were at the park when Lucy started digging through my diaper bag.
"Hey!" she yelled out, "You have jingle bells in here!"

I was blithely chatting with another mother and nodded in her general direction, not really paying attention, but she persisted.  "Try this!" she exclaimed, trying to get the attention of another little girl, "I can't get it to jingle."

I glanced at her, and then did an exact replica of a cartoon double-take.  I'm pretty sure my eyes literally bugged out of my head.  What Lucy was holding, what she had just unwrapped and taken out of my bag, what she was swinging wildly around and trying to give to other children was....a tampon.


3- Correct assessment of the situation

As we drove home, Lucy noticed a hitch-hiker on the side of the road.  "Is that a policeman?" she asked me, "Or just some random guy?"

* I don't know who "that other guy" is, but I'd be curious to meet him.

Sometimes I worry that we are bad parents...

Abbie insisted today on wearing her hair in a side ponytail, "like the girl in Napoleon Dynamite."

As she checked out my handiwork in the mirror, she said, "No other girl in my class has thought about doing this!  I'm going to be the first."

Yes, I thought.  I have no doubt that you will be the first... in kindergarten.   

You know what, though?  She looked really cute.

This isn't the clearest picture but it's the only one I took.

Define this

I was driving the elementary girls into school the other day when Abbie asked me to define "courageous."  I did my Lemony Snickett-y best, and then asked her why she wanted to know.

"I am supposed to do something courageous this week for Girl Scouts," she said.

"Punch a kid in the face!" Beth suggested beside her.

"That's not courageous," Abbie said.

Beth clarified, "Punch an older kid in the face."

Even over-achievers need a break

Beth was struggling with her homework this evening.  After wrestling with a particularly difficult question, she read her answer to me to see if I thought it was okay.  Unfortunately, I thought it needed more work.  She looked over her paper reluctantly, then shook her head and put her homework away.

"I think it's acceptable to turn in lousy homework once in a while," she said.

That is a direct quote.

More about Abbie's first day of Kindergarten

We all wanted to hear Abbie's report about her first day of school, so at dinner the conversation mainly revolved around her. She told us about the teacher, who was nice, and the boys in her class, who she feels she could do without, and the other girls, several of whom she thinks could become friends.

She told us that the girls in her class quizzed each other over lunch, looking to see who had similar interests. One kid asked Abbie if she likes to color, which she does. Another girl asked her if she likes American Girl dolls, and Abbie said that she did. When it came time for Abbie to ask questions, though, this is what she did: She turned to the girl she liked the most and innocently asked her, "Do you like The Killers?"

The little girl did not know what she was talking about.

I think it is safe to say that Kindergarten may not be ready for the awesomeness that is Miss Abbie Mlinek. I bet the kids are really going to be impressed when she breaks out her Two Face impersonation:

You know your kids are awesome when....

...not one, not two, but THREE people at the museum approach you to gush about how well behaved they are, how sweetly they treat each other, and what an amazing family you have.

Then, as if that weren't enough, when you stop to take a video of a disturbing bunny in the "sculpture garden" they all, in unison and completely on their own volition, decide to act like a pack of zombies.

These girls are the best.

Not enough names, too many opinions

We have finally nailed down a name for this baby.
It took a while because....well, we're running out of names we love. Things were getting so grim that we very seriously considered naming this baby Penelope (which is a name we both really like) even though it would mean that her nickname would make it look like we named her after my childhood dog (Penny. I really did love Penny.)

Anyway, we officially told the girls today what her name will be. What we did not expect was Lucy's very forceful reaction.

"No!" she yelled at us, covering her face with her hands, "I hate that horrible name!!!"

Chris managed to diffuse the situation by suggesting a nickname. I am not personally fond of it, but it works with Lucy. So, as of right now, her plan is to call her new sister "Uth."

Impressive beginning, strange conclusion

Here is a literal transcript from an actual conversation. I have no comment on it because....there's just no way to comment on it.

Chris: What are you looking at Lucy?
Lucy: Map.
Chris: Oh, nice.
Lucy: Look - here's California!
Chris: How in the world do you know where California is?
Lucy: It's California!
Chris: Well, I'm really impressed. Where did you learn that?
Lucy: Hot dogs!
Chris: What?
Lucy: Sometimes hot dogs can come alive.

Tooth Fairy Trouble

Here is what happened: Claire's friend just lost her tooth last week, and she proudly showed Claire the little toy the Tooth Fairy brought her. A few days later, Claire also lost a tooth.

The Tooth Fairy has never brought anything other than a dollar around here, and even that cannot be counted on to arrive on time. (We all know how flighty the Tooth Fairy is, right? Sometimes it takes her a couple of days to remember......this is common knowledge - and don't even think about telling my kids otherwise!)

So, Claire thinks about this injustice as she prepares her tooth for its pillow. Then she decides to take action, showing her parents the note below just before bedtime.

I am sure this put the Tooth Fairy in a pickle, because she was not prepared to deposit a toy under Claire's pillow that night. In fact, she was probably not happy about setting a new precedent in regards to tooth compensation. She was also probably completely unsure how to handle this situation.

Luckily, I think she finally hit upon more or less the right note: she gave in to the immediate request, but laid the guilt on thickly to prevent its ever being made again. This was perhaps not the best tactic in the world, but hey! It worked.

Why did you give that to me?

Chris was snacking on Jalapeno Pepper Doritoes yesterday when Lucy sidled up to him.

"Daddy share his chips!" she chirped, optimistically.

"No, Lu," Chris told her, "these are too spicy. You won't like them."

"I will like them!" she insisted, "I like spicy!"

She continued to hover around him, noting that the chips smelled good and repeatedly reminding him that she "likes spicy!"

Finally, tired of being harassed, Chris gave her one small Dorito. Lucy immediately gobbled it up and smiled at him, but as the heat kicked in she began to gag.

She spit the chip out and gave him an accusatory look, "Why you give that to me?" she wailed.

If you ask her what happened with Daddy's chips now, she will tell you: "Daddy made me eat too spicy!"

She's very convincing.

Opinionated little girl

Potty training is continuing to go well. She's had a few accidents, but nothing too terrible. The biggest problem, really, is her attitude about the whole thing. I can tell that she has put some thought in to this whole situation, and has come to the conclusion that diapers are just a better way to go. So while she is does well with running to the potty when she needs to go, she'll often argue with me about putting her in a diaper. It's an issue every morning when I take her nighttime diaper off, and it's an issue several times a day, whenever the mood strikes her and she wants to relax her vigilance. We're going to a little festival at the school this afternoon, and she is already trying to convince me to put her in diapers when we go. (For the record, she is going in underwear.)

Meanwhile, here's an insight into the mind of this kid:

For years and years, I have put the kids to bed by saying a little prayer over them and then repeating the phrase my mom used to say when my sister and I went to sleep, "Dream about the angels!"

It is one of those things that the girls now "need" in order to feel fully tucked in.

Last night, as I turned out the bedroom light and was about to close the door, Lucy's little voice suddenly piped up.

"You can't choose my dreams!" she said.

At first, I had no idea what she was talking about.

"I choose my dreams!" she went on, "I am dream about Daddy or the new baby in Mommy's belly."

"Uh, okay," I said, still not sure what she was talking about it. But then she clarified it for me.

"I am NOT dream about angels!" Lucy said, "I choose my dreams!"

How Lucy dominates her father

Chris kindly let me sleep in this morning, and he most likely regretted it the moment he stepped foot outside our bedroom.

He found Lucy in the kitchen, meticulously strewing toilet paper around the table and chairs.*

"What are you doing?" he (sensibly) asked her.

She replied, "It's Lucy Anna's birthday!"**

Looking at his face as he surveyed the damage, she added, "It can be your birthday, too!"


*She also "decorated" the toilet paper with pink fabric glue
**It is not Lucy Anna's birthday

Irrepressible

Chris heard feet pattering in the kitchen after the girls had gone to bed. When he went to investigate, he found Abbie, who claimed that she couldn't go to sleep because Lucy was being, "crazy."

So Chris went upstairs to see what "crazy" meant.

Lucy had tossed her blankets around the room and was sitting on her bare bed, holding a clothes hanger and pontificating to her toys.

"Lucy," Chris thundered, "what are you doing?"

She turned calm and unconcerned eyes to him and replied, "Tomorrow, I need you to buy me some candy!"

She was actually surprised to find herself in trouble after that.

I've said it before, but it is really, really true: a worry and a wonder is what this kid is. In that order.

foreign lands

We discussed possibly getting "The Rosetta Stone" language tapes yesterday. The girls all weighed in on what language they'd like to learn.

"French," said I (sneakily, as I spent 6 years learning french but can only remember about four words.)

"Spanish," said Katie, practical as usual.

"Latin," said Beth, who likes to mix things up.

"I'd like to learn Texas," said Claire.

Growing geeks

Meeting the X-Men (and Spiderman....and Captain America!)
Originally uploaded by moleshollow

Chris was playing Ultimate Alliance on his Xbox as the girls (as they always do) watched and (as they always do, to my glee) commented on his playing. At some point, Claire asked Chris to switch characters, and play as the Hulk. He did so, and Claire then asked if he could switch to Batman.

Beth scornfully turned to her and said, "What are you thinking? Hulk is Marvel, Batman is DC!"

We couldn't be more proud.