Dangerous

I've already packed away most of the girls' clothes, so it's sometimes tough to find weather-appropriate, clean, matching outfits for one or two of them. The only shorts I have for Abbie this morning are purple, so I ended up having to open a box of clothes to find a shirt to match it. After digging around in the box a bit, the only one I came up with was one with the words "I'M THE BIG SISTER" printed across the front.

The words were just the right shade of purple, and I really thought about putting it on her.

But then I really thought about putting it on her.

Matching is overrated. She can wear green.

Abbie before and after sugery

I can't get these dumb pictures in the right order, so I'll just say which are which. The picture with Abbie in a peach shirt on the phone is from the night before her surgery. The closeup of her face is 2 days post-op. The one with Beth is the same day, when we celebrated Beth's 5th bday in the hospital. The one with Abbie in a wagon is the from the day before we were discharged from the hospital. She really, really loved being pulled around in that wagon. I mean, really loved it. Chris once spent a solid two and a half hours pulling her around the hosptial!

First appt with oncology

Abbie is going to be set up with what is called a broviac in the next week or two. It's sort of like an IV line that is surgically implanted into a larger vein, so that she won't have to be re-stuck every time she goes in for chemo or has to have bloodwork done. This is pretty standard for chemo patients, and I'll be grateful to not have to hold her down anymore while people poke around her veins trying to find one that works.

So, chemo treatments start this coming week or the next, depending on when they can schedule the broviac placement. We had been hoping to have a little more time before starting all of this, but her doctor feels that it is just too risky, because the tumor is so close to her breathing and swallowing centers.

The good news is that the tumor is grade 1, and her chemo treatments are going to be on the far end of low on the spectrum. So there is a chance that she will stay healthy (and keep her hair) for the entire duration. It's one of those things that we will just have to wait and see about -- she may tolerate the medication very well, or she may get some of the side effects (nausea, lethargy, weakened immunity, hair loss). There is no way to really predict it, unfortunately.

Hopefully I'll hear today about when she'll be scheduled for the broviac. It is considered a surgery, and we may need to be admitted for a day so that they can train us on maintaining it, etc. We'll see. The PA mentioned being admitted several times, but the actual doctor didn't seem to think it was a given.

In case you haven't heard....

- Two weeks ago, Abbie was diagnosed with a benign fibrillary astrocytoma (probably spelled wrong). It is a tumor that reaches from her brain stem down into her spine.
-We were admitted immediately to Children's National Hospital in DC, where we were told that she needed surgery to at least biopsy the tumor, and remove as much of it as was possible.
-The tumor is actually embedded in her spinal cord, so it was likely that she would sustain major damage from surgery.
-She was operated on on a Friday, and 80% of the tumor was removed, without any major damage. The unofficial word was that it was benign.
-Her arms and trunk are very weak, but functioning, after surgery. It is going to take some physical therapy, but she will eventually regain everything back.
-We are home now, and resting, and glad to be out of the hospital! (Although, everyone there was really incredible.)
-She will need chemotherapy to shrink the tumor that remains in her brain, but it will be on an out-patient basis, and the chemo will be low-dose. It shouldn't take more than a year.

Busy couple of weeks. Keep us in your prayers!

Am I that cranky?

Note left for me from Katie:

I love you no matter what you do I still love you

love, Katie

It's been a busy time

Well! I am sorry about the long break I took from this blog, but I have some very good reasons.

Reason #1 -

Chris and Dante, with some help from Dan, put in a beautiful new wood (laminate) floor in our living room! It is absolutely gorgeous, and it somehow magically makes the rest of the house look much nicer, too. (That may also be due, in part, to the frantic cleaning, purging, and packing I've been doing, though.)

Reason #2

We have been extremely, almost obsessively, preoccupied with the little nest of hatchling on our deck. We monitored the mommy robin while she laid an egg a day for four days, and then stalked her (through the glass door) throughout the two weeks it took her to hatch her little birdies. The four baby birds have just begun to grow feathers now, and they chirp impatiently with open beaks while they wait to be fed. The girls have named them after Katie's current Narnia obsession: Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.

Reason #3

Our house is for sale! Actually, it is almost sold!!!! I don't want to count our chickens before they're hatched (appropriate analogy, given our current bird-watching), but we have a buyer and we are very close to closing the contract. :-) If this goes through, our house will have been on the market a mere day and a half!

And Reason #4, which is the most serious and least positive is this:

Abbie has had a very seriously strained neck for going on three months, and we've been running her all over town to figure out what the deal is. In the meantime, she has been getting worse and worse -- at this point, she can barely move her head from side to side, and she won't move her head up at all. So she is walking around with hunched shoulders, her chin close to her chest.

She has an MRI next week, which will hopefully provide us with some answers. So please say a prayer for her!

So, things are looking to continue on in this hectic way for quite a while, but I promise to try and update this more often. :)

Oh, and the fish?

They're dead.

Suspicious characters

I tried, for the second time in a week, to go to Kohl's today. Chris bought a bunch of stuff there last week and got a voucher for $30, so I wanted to go before it expired. The first attempt was aborted after someone had a temper tantrum in the lobby because only the one-seat carts were left. The second time began much more productively but as always it took twice as long as I had anticipated, and we were pressed for time because it was almost time to pick Katie up from school. So we waited, third in line, for a few minutes while an almost comatose woman sllllooooowly scanned half a dozen candles, pausing after each one to stare blankly at the cash register screen, then slllllooooowly set the candles down on the counter (not in a bag, mind you - that was another step for us to anticipate). After about five minutes of this (number of candles scanned: three) an older woman behind me politely requested the clerk to call for help. So the clerk rolled to a stop, and slllooooowly picked up the walkie-talkie thing, and in a leisurely drawl asked for assistance. Then back to the candles. Sllllooooooowly.

When the woman patiently waiting to pay for her candles produced a coupon, and the clerk again ceased to function as she considered the myriad ways she could process it, I gave up and walked out of the line. And now we come to the point of this whole story -- I left the line, and the clerk again stopped to reassure me that, at some point before closing, someone else might show up to speed things up. I replied that I really couldn't wait any longer because I needed to pick up my daughter from school. The people left waiting were all watching this, probably contemplating whether it was better to follow my example or continue to rot in line. Beth surveyed this scene, and as I rolled the cart in the direction of the door, in her wonderfully loud and clear voice said, "Mommy, are we going to steal this stuff?"

Look up!

This is just a note to tell everyone to check out the new quote under my blog name. I was flipping through an old favorite book of mine (The Little Prince), when I ran across it and realized that it is a perfect description of life in this little house. :)

Truly a force

I wish I could figure out how to put up videos, because it's a real shame to keep the sight of Abbie singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" all to ourselves.

The only word she can actually say is "gone," but she belts it out with all the force of her little personality. That, and The Long Winters "Cinnamon" are the only things that can placate her when she gets fussy in the car, and she sings along to both with gusto. But there is something particularly cute and funny about "Since U Been Gone." It's a breakup song, sort of in the vein of "I Will Survive," and watching our little Kook Attack rocking out to lyrics like, "Since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time!" just knocks me out.

That actually reminds me of another funny story from our trip to Vermont. In the funeral home, Beth was hanging out in an adjoining room with Andy. She told him that she had a song in her head, and asked if he'd like to hear her hum it. Of course he did. So she began, "Ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba ba-ba, hmmm hmmm hmmmmmm hmmmmmmm" Andy recognized it right away. What was she singing? "I Want to be Sedated" by the Ramones. Rock on, little girl.

She knows me too well

A question Katie asks me at least three times each week: "What is your favorite thing to do, Mommy?"
pause
"And you can't say 'sleep'!"

Hiding from the PC police....

Here are two stories, both from the same day (yesterday), both ending with me wanting the ground to swallow me up. Enjoy!

Claire works on color identification
Let me begin by stating that Claire has still not mastered her colors. I've even discussed the possibility of her having color-blindness with her doctor, but at the end of the day it appears that she just doesn't care to learn them quite yet. So........yesterday I was working in the nursery, and Claire was palling around with Kameron, a little boy who usually comes in after pre-school. His mom, for the record, was in the room. They were holding hands, playing some sort of game, when Claire looked down and was suddenly struck by a difference. "Hey Mommy," she said to me, still staring at Kameron, "his skin is a different color." She contemplated his dark complexion for a moment before turning back to me and saying, "I think he is blue."

I need to buy Ho-Ho's more often, I guess
Story number 2, later that same day. I promised Katie and Beth that I would buy them a dessert at the grocery store while they were in ballet class. When the class was over, they both immediately rushed over to interrogote me on what I brought back. It was very crowded (the ballet class is actually held in a gym. A very busy, crowded, yuppie gym), so I was somewhat distracted as I gathered shoes and coats, and I hurriedly answered, "Ho-Ho's" as I threw Katie's slippers into her bag.
"What?" asked Beth in that particularly loud, screechy, traffic-stopping voice she can get sometimes. "What are HOMOS?"
"No," I told her as I desperately tried to hussle them into their coats, "I said ho-ho's. It's like a cake roll...."
But she was undeterred and kept insisting, "What are HOMOS? Mommy, WHAT ARE HOMOS????"
In telling this story today to my mom, she asked me if the people around me were laughing. I have to say that I have no idea - I was so mortified that I didn't even have the courage to look up, I just gathered them up and barrelled out of there as fast as I could.

Fish update #2 - more fish

Our eleven remaining baby fishies are doing well, growing pretty big and hanging around the front of the tank to check us out when we walk by.

The only problem is that they have recently been joined by.......30 new baby fish.

I don't know what to do. These poor babies seem doomed to a cannabalistic dinner, but I don't have another tank to put them into (and we don't really have the room for another tank either.) I'm not even sure the net could pick them up, they are so tiny and delicate. How do I save these fish??? Any advice (beyond flushing them, Mom!!! I know your ways!) would be appreciated.....

update: Chris and I discussed this issue tonight, and what do you think his solution is? They just may be toilet-bound after all.........

Dress shopping with Katie

Katie and I ran to David's Bridal tonight to order bridesmaid dresses - for both Monica and Becky's wedding for me, and a Junior Bridesmaid dress for Becky's wedding for Katie. A saleslady brought us to a changing room, brought us the dresses we needed in various sizes to see which fit, and then promptly dissapeared. She was unfortunately still carrying the paper I had written the dress codes on, which had the directions home on the back. So, after figuring out which sizes to get, Katie and I went on a quest through the chaotic store to find this lady, despite the fact that I could not for the life of me remember what she looked like. Luckily for me, Katie was at my side.

"She had on a black jacket and pants," said Katie. We searched all over the store, but couldn't find a woman wearing a black jacket and pants, but that didn't deter Katie's insistance that she was right.

And she was, of course. I finally gave up and decided to just get in line anyway, but soon afterwards the saleslady walked by. Before she got to us, Katie said, "That's her!" But I so did NOT recognize her face that I wasn't confident that Katie was right. But the saleslady remembered us, and stopped to make sure we were all set.

It's so strange, in a way, to have this tiny little girl at my side in whom I can actually rely. Katie remembers my parking spaces, Katie remembers the grocery lists I mumble to myself before getting to the store and promptly forgetting, Katie remembers all the little things I've never managed to force myself to remember. She's like the miniature embodiment of all the things I am not, and it's cool to watch her, and develop an appreciation for all of these awesome qualities she is teaching me to value.

We made an impromtu (and quick!) trip into Vermont this week for the funeral of Chris' Grandfather. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not really comfortable going into really emotional issues on here; maybe it's the stigma of narcissistic "bloggers," or maybe it's my constant fear of coming across as "cheesey" instead of sincere, but whatever the reason I deliberately try to keep my post on here light. So, I am not going to say much about Chris' Grandfather, who was dearly loved and will be dearly missed. But please pray for his soul, and most especially for the grieving people he left behind.

And now on to our trip tallies:

Hours driven - 20
Incidents of vomitting - 7
Number of "vomit bags" I packed - 6
Number of words exchanged with Becky at rest stops (who was following behind us in her car) during the first two hours of the trip, during which all 7 vomits occured - maybe five, and those were limited to things like, "Have a plastic bag?"
Number of times Becky repeated the offer (made before leaving from home) to take a couple of the girls in her car - NONE!

And here are some quotes that are worth preserving (most, you will note, come from Beth):

Beth, to Chris after the funeral mass, "Wow, there are a lot of old people here!"

Beth, to me after being told to please hurry because she was making a very extended trip to the only ladies' room in the funeral parlor, "I think that when people listen through the door and hear my low moaning, they will understand that there's a little girl who is using potty in here."
(Note: "low moaning" are her exact words!)

Claire, to someone she's never met before in her life, "My tights are PINK, see! And I use potty now because I am a BIG GIRL! And Uncle Andy is the biggest and he is my BEST FRIEND!"
(This was repeated several times to several different strangers. Claire clearly thought that the reason for the gathering was purely to show off how cute she can be.)

Katie, yelling down the entire length of the funeral home (to the extreme amusement of the funeral director), "Mom, are you going to the BATHROOM?"

St Patty's Day tradition

This is another tradition I did NOT plan on, but last year I made "green eggs and ham" for dinner on St. Patrick's Day. (I just tinted eggs and ham green - the ham looked more black than green, but whatever.) Everyone hated it. Chris thought it looked disgusting, and the girls are no Sam-I-am. So it was a shock when Katie and Beth asked me, hopefully, if I was going to make green eggs and ham again for St. Patty's Day. I was at a loss to come up with a meatless Irish dinner, anyways, since it was on a Friday, so I decided to go ahead and make it again, except that instead of ham we had pancakes. Tinted green, of course. For whatever reason, they LOVED it this time! Claire and Katie gobbled up their bright green cheese omlettes (with white cheese, no orange around here!) just as eagerly as they ate the pancakes (which were brown on the outside but still kept the bright green on the inside.) Go figure. So a new tradition is born, one that Chris is not exactly thrilled about but what can I do? The people have spoken.

(By the way, I am aware that pancakes and omlettes aren't exactly "Irish" foods, but that's why I dye them green. What is an "Irish meal" anyways? Corned beef? Blech. Beef stew and potatoes are OK, but they hardly feel like a celebration meal, you know?)

Proof of bad parenting

So........I'm having a kind of bad morning. I was up several times last night with cranky kids (bad dreams and teething, and a wet bed all in one night. Fun!) Chris is sick, and I am still dissapointed about having to cancel a trip to see my family this weekend. So this has been a lax morning so far -- Abbie and I are still in our PJs (which really impressed the Mormons who just stopped by), and I let the older girls dress themselves. So, just in case anyone is under the assumption that we've got it together around here (small chance, but still...) here is the proof of my poor parenting:

Claire's outfit:

On top of that, the girls asked if they could put on temporary tatoos. I let them, but did not monitor the application process. The result? Beth put hers ON HER FACE:

And exhibit #3 detailing my poor parenting, here is Abbie with a face smeared with snot. I'll clean her up........eventually:

update: while typing this, Claire wet her pants, so she is now, at least, wearing pants that match her shirt. And my motivation to take a shower just increased by quite a bit.

Mom, this is for you

Katie overheard me talking to my mother about her illness (she has pneumonia). Katie also knows that we were supposed to go into Pittsburgh this weekend for a visit, but had to cancel due to my (bleeping) back. So, with her ability - inherited from Chris- to think ahead and predict what will happen and how people will feel, Katie realized that Grandma Niccoli must be feeling pretty down this weekend, and she wanted to make her feel better. So here it is. I'm proud of my sweet girl.

Sacrifice Beads

In case you can't tell, I'm trying to make up for the two weeks I lost on here while recovering from my back. :)

So last week the girls went to "K4J," a religion class we go to once a month. Every month introduces a different virtue, and the theme this month is "Sacrifice." So Katie and Beth were both given St. Therese beads to use during Lent.

St. Therese and her sisters (she was the youngest, I think, of 5) used to make these things called "sacrifice beads," a string of beads that is tied together in a way that allows you to pull them along the string. On the top is a crucifix, and the deal is that every time you make a sacrifice, you pull a bead towards the crucifix. The goal is to pull all your beads during the day. However, for the sacrifice to count, you have to keep it a SECRET. No bragging, no comparing sacrifices, it should be a secret between you and Jesus.

Well, we've been having a hard time preserving the spirit of that around here. Katie's mouth runs non-stop all day long, so secrets are not exactly her forte. This is a speech I've heard several times a day for the last week: Katie, "I made three sacrifices so far today! Of course, it's a secret. I can't tell you what I did. But can I tell you that I did something that was really hard for me? I think that makes God feel really happy, I like to make some sacrifices but we are supposed to keep it a secret but I can just tell you that mine had something to do with Claire I keep my beads hidden in my pocket so no-one can see them Beth wants me to always see when she pulls a bead but I keep mine a secret it's in my pocket Claire always wants to take my toys but today I did a really good thing pulled a bead keeping it a secret a secret a secret I LET CLAIRE PLAY WITH MY TOY."

Beth, on the surface, does much better, but she has a certain way of advertising her sacrifices , that is actually more noticeable than if she spent all day talking about it. This is a scenario that we've gone through just as often as Katie's little speeches: Beth sits at the table coloring. Katie asks her for the red crayon, Beth hands it to her and then sighs loudly. She then gets up, walks over to the counter where her beads are, picks the beads up, casts a look at Katie, dramatically pulls one, then goes back to her seat. Katie says, "Why did you just pull that bead? Giving me the red crayon was not a sacrifice, you weren't using the red one. That was just doing a favor." Beth replies, "It's a secret." Katie: "I'm just telling you that giving me the crayon was not a sacrifice." Beth: "I can't talk about this because we are supposed to keep our sacrifices a SECRET."

So Katie is slowly going batty, because she is just positive that Beth is pulling beads when she doesn't really deserve to. And Beth, I am almost certain, is deliberately pulling beads in front of Katie because she KNOWS it's driving her crazy.

I think I may need some sacrifice beads of my own, so I have something to pull every time I resist the urge to chuck the beads out the window.

Sweet morning

I woke up this morning to the sound of pounding coming from the hallway. Not even fully awake, I sprang out of bed by pure instinct and rushed downstairs to find.......Katie, Beth and Claire all standing in their bedroom with all the lights on, playing store. Katie explained that they decided to play in their room for a while, to give Chris and I a chance to sleep in.

This is just about the most amazing thing I've ever encounted as a parent. I mean, how sweet and thoughtful is that??? Unfortunately the "store" game involved running up and down the hallway, right in front of Abbie's room, otherwise I would have seriously considered going back to bed and letting them finish their game. I am really hoping, though, that this is a sign of the beginning of the end of our sleep-deprived years. Abbie slept through the night, too, which is something of a miracle! I wonder what life would be like if every night was like this.... Will I even remember how to function on a full night's sleep?