First rule of parenting: never ever ever ever ever ever, NEVER assume anything

I'm afraid this blog is becoming nothing but "Hey watch us swim!" and "Can you believe the disgusting things I have to deal with?"

I apologize, but this is my life.

So I woke up early this morning (yay me!) and took the dog for a walk before everyone else was up. With the way things go around here, though, I didn't get the chance to hop into the shower until 11:30. Lucy had a loaded diaper so I changed her and then sent her upstairs to play with her sisters. They were all playing happily up there when I made the fatal mistake. I assumed. I assumed that Lucy was all taken care of, I assumed that the next 20 minutes could safely be used for personal hygene.

I was in my bathroom getting dressed when I heard Claire's high-pitched scream from the floor above. I could hear the progression of her frantic voice as she made her way down the steps, through the kitchen, past the dog, and into my room. "Something really bad is happening!" she told me.

It was Lucy. Lucy and her diaper. Again.

Luckily I caught her very early on, so the cleanup was much easier. As I was scrubbing her off, she was crying, "I icky. I sorry. I sorry."
"No touching your diaper, you know that, Lucy!" I said to her, "Why did you do that?"

Through her tears, she sighed deeply and said, "I don't know."

I believe her. I think she really doesn't know why she does these things. I think she's compelled on some primal level that none of us could ever fully understand. So, the name of the game needs to be constant vigilance, and by that I mean constant vigilance. Someday this green-eyed little gem will be all grown up and we will sit around over coffee and laugh at her feral childhood. On that day I will really enjoy that coffee, too, because it will most likely be the first time in years that I'll have the chance to actually sit and savor something.