Did you know?

A bag of flour, when emptied upside-down on the kitchen floor by an unnamed child, makes a really big mess. It is much more tricky to clean up than you would think, especially when said child runs in a panic through the pile of flour, leaving little white footprints to follow her sobs throughout the house.

And when another child wakes up prematurely from her nap (because of the sobs and the pounding footsteps) and also begins to scream, and you frantically try to fill her cup with milk to calm her down because you just realized that it is almost time to pick the other children up from school (because you lost track of time, you see, sweeping up clouds of flour that resettle into even more piles of flour), and you spill the milk all over a pile of flour still on the floor.....well then, you have made glue. Except that this glue smells kind of funky. And I really wasn't planning on gluing anything onto the kitchen floor (which, by the way, is wood - like, real actual hardwood.)

All of the newly expecting mothers I know right now - write this down and remember this. Because they will not tell you these stories in your parenting magazines and "what to do when" books. And they certainly will not offer advice on how to scrape homemade glue off of your floors.