Why I will probably need a C-section

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - about a million cookies
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!!!!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-Peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me moist lemon pound cake
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
-On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me leftover ham
-moist lemon pound cake
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me homemade caramels
-leftover ham
-moist lemon pound cake
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-and about a million cookies
On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me cornbread stuffing
-(we'll never eat it all)
-homemade caramels
-moist lemon pound cake
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-(I think I'm gonna puke)
-And about a million cookies
On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me the rum-balls no-one will eat!
-cornbread stuffing
-homemade caramels
-leftover ham
-(What's that fish smell in the fridge?)
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-(thank God that's almost gone)
-And about a million cookies
On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me 1 pound of M&Ms
-(Here comes diabetic shock)
-cornbread stuffing
-(am I the only one eating this?)
-leftover ham
-(the lemon cake is gone)
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-And about a million cookies
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four extremely wired girls!
-1 pound of M&Ms
-the rum-balls no-one eats
-cornbread stuffing
-(something really smells wrong in here)
-leftover ham
-(Is that a loaf of apple bread?)
-EXTRA STRENGTH TUMS!
-Cheerwine soda
-candied sweet potatoes
-peanut butter fudge
-and a gestating 12 lb baby!!!!