Crazy Abbie in public

We took the girls to the Science Center today, in honor of Claire's birthday. We had a great time, but as always happens we hit a point where suddenly all five girls needed to get to the bathroom immediately.

So we all file in, and although Abbie was the first one in a stall she was the last to come out. As we were standing against the wall of the fairly crowded bathroom, waiting, the sound of singing began to come from one of the stalls. It was Abbie, and this is what she was singing:

Dear Father, I write you
in spite of years of silence
You've cleaned up, found Jesus
Things are good or so I've heard
This bottle of Stevens awakens ancient feelings
Like father, stepfather, the son is drowning in the flood!!

Yeah, Abbie was singing some Weezer in the public bathroom. I don't know whether I should be ashamed of what bad parents we are, that we let her listen to stuff like that, or if I should be proud that my kids clearly know good music from garbage.

In any case, the people in the bathroom enjoyed the show.

Dishwasher Armageddon, Day 6

This is what my sink looks like by 7pm every night:

We? Are awesome!

Dishwasher Armageddon, Day 5

When I first had to tackle the dirty contents of our broken dishwasher, I experienced a moment of true despair. I actually procrastinated a full day before finally plunging my hands in.

We're on day 4 of the Armageddon, though, and the truth is....it's not all that bad.

I've found that it is best to just keep one half of the sink full of hot soapy water, and wash everything immediately. I am probably still spending a huge amount of time bending over the sink, but because it is in such small increments over the course of the day, it doesn't feel that way. The surprising thing too is that the kitchen has actually been staying more tidy, because I'm not leaving anything "for later."

I had planned on escalating the melodrama as the Armageddon continues, and I still might just because I think it is funny. If I'm completely honest, though, I have to admit.......

Now, don't repeat this, okay? Lean in close, I don't want to say this too loud, but....

I think I can live like this. I actually don't mind it all that much.

Is there something wrong with me? Is this normal? I guess if it is instigating a cleaner kitchen I should just accept it and not look too deep into the reasons why. But don't tell anyone I said so.

Abbie, still crazy

We let the girls stay up late last night, and we all watched the auditions on American Idol together. When it was time for bed, Chris told the girls, who had strewn their various toys and blankets all over the basement, "pack it up and head upstairs!"

Abbie looked over at him and said, "Why? Are we going to Hollywood?"

A birthday for Larry

Happy birthday to the most enthusiastic kid going!

Despite the fact that Claire's favorite food has consistently been the kid-standard pizza, nuggets and mac and cheese, the birthday girl insisted that for her dinner she wanted.....salmon and corn. Now, salmon is an actual, honest-to-goodness favorite of one of our kids....but it isn't Claire's. She genuinely likes some "grown-up" foods, like sushi and shrimp, but she refused to even consider those; it just had to be salmon and corn, of all random things.

Sometimes this kid just weirds out, and I have no idea how to handle it.

So, after a very stressful afternoon, Chris came home and whipped up some salmon for Claire (Chris is the fish pro around here, another reason we tried to convince Claire to pick something else, something I could cook without screwing up.) Claire, of course, only ended up eating about three bites. As we knew she would, because she doesn't really like salmon.

Luckily she picked a birthday dessert that she actually wanted, so that she didn't end her birthday with an empty stomach. She still has occasional texture issues, so it was just a huge old ice-cream sundae for her. We made cupcakes for her kindergarten class, but she didn't want any cake at home. Given the fact that she's still just as likely to puke up cake as not, I think it was for the best.

So, happy birthday little one! You keep me on my toes, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Dishwasher Armageddon, Day 3

Claire claims that even though it is her birthday, she still wants to help clean the dishes tonight!

We'll see!

Dishwasher Armageddon, Day 2.5

I am recording this for legal purposes. This is a direct quote from the girls," Washing dishes is fun! I hope we get to do this every night!"

Let's see how that fares a few more days into the Armageddon.

Meanwhile, while the rest of the family was gainfully employed, what do you think Lucy was doing?

Don't congratulate me yet for having it easy....

Lucy decided to re-enact that scene from Mary Poppins....you know, the one where the kids gets completely filthy and spend some time rolling around in soot.

The good news is that the cheap-o vacuum we bought to replace our broken one works pretty well.

Chris thinks that it was a bad idea to take these pictures. He says that I am just encouraging Lucy to grow into more of a monster. But when you're living room is covered (and I mean covered - these pictures do no real justice) in soot you have two options: kill the kid, or laugh.

So out came the camera. And Lucy survives to dominate another day.

Dishwasher Armageddon, Day 2

My Dearest Maw,

It is cold here. The snow is falling thick and fast outside, and there is little movement in the road. We have a cheerful fire roaring in the living room, but I cain' leave my post. In times like these, what does a woman have if she has not her honor? And so at the sink I remain. There is some warmth in the sudsy waters, and for this I am thankful. I will take my blessings where 'ere they come, and pray to the Almighty that these hostilities may soon cease. I think of you often, and remember with longing the days when my fingers where not quite so raw, nor the terrible piles of dishes so high.

Give my love to Sister.
I remain,
Faithfully,
Rebecca Elizabeth

check out my poll on the right!

Be sure to vote before I have the chain fully forged!

Only Lucy

How messed up is it when you have to haul your kid out of mass because she won't stop screaming.....

..."I want Jesus!"

A girl and her dog

This picture is old now, taken last summer. One of the subjects has grown a bit and one has grown a shocking amount since then, but I think this picture best sums up the relationship between Lucy and her beloved sibling, Jasper the dog. Notice how happy they both are: Lucy as she torments Jasper, Jasper as he hopes to score something good. They are a match made in heaven.

About a week ago I ushered the girls, who had been playing in their rooms, to the basement so that I could put Lucy down for a nap. This is a more chaotic transition than you might imagine, because it involves getting them all through the kitchen - past a baby gate and through a door while trying to keep the frantic dog from escaping. So there was, as there always is, lots of yelling and toppling over and mob-type frenzies. Once the girls had been successfully relocated, though, I realized that Lucy had escaped (as I thought) into the basement. And then - crap! - I noticed that the dog was missing.

I ran upstairs first, thinking that the dog might have pushed past the girls unnoticed while they filed by the gate. The top floor was dead silent, though, so I didn't bother checking it much. The one thing I can count on is Jasper causing a ruckus any time he manages to get to some part of the house that has lots of forbidden things to chew. I ran down to the basement, but the girls hadn't seen him there, so I checked the unfinished section. He wasn't there. At this point, I was getting concerned- there are only so many places a dog can go, and I was running out of ideas. I checked outside, although I knew he hadn't been let out. I re-checked the top floor, looking into every room and even the closets. He wasn't there.

I came back down to the kitchen, looking again under the table and behind the chairs, knowing he wasn't there. The house felt eerie and quiet without his dog-noises in the background. The girls were helping now, too, their eyes big and beginning to fill with tears. We were starting to worry that he had escaped outside somehow, and the busy road outside makes that a much bigger problem than it might sound like.

I stood in the kitchen and surveyed the adjoining hallway, all the doors tightly shut as they always are to keep the dog from chewing up the blankets, the clothes, the rugs.....our dog really likes to chew. The girls were all gathered around me, concerned, but I wasn't paying them much attention. I was worried about the dog. I began to look into the closed rooms, not expecting anything but at a loss for what else to do. The guestroom was empty and quiet. The bathroom was, too. I looked into my bedroom, and it was also empty. But as I was about to close the door I heard a dull thump, and it made me pause for a second. I went past the bed and opened the door to the bathroom.

Standing square in the middle of the room was none other than Lucy, with her arm draped casually around Jasper's neck as he tore into a roll of toilet paper. She looked up at me and grinned and then said, breezily as you please, "Hi!" Opening doors is a brand-new trick of hers, and it appears that while I was occupied with the older girls she had quietly opened the door to my room and lured Jasper through into the bathroom. What seems incredible to me now is that my first thought was not to check on the whereabouts of Lucy, and assuming from the get-go that she was the culprit. Where else would Jasper be but at the side of his favorite companion, hoping for food or at the very least a chance to get to some forbidden treat?

I am going to be catching up on posts today....

...because yesterday my dishwasher broke. We've been under some funny kind of cloud the past few months: our computer died, then my laptop died (although that's what I'm on now, it suddenly resurrected out of the blue- about a week after we took the plunge and bought a new computer, of course), our microwave died, Chris' car broke down, his phone went dead, the mailbox door fell off, the fence in front of our house blew down, the Xbox blew up, the vacuum stopped sucking (or started sucking, depending on how you look at it,) our regular phone only works in three minute increments before needed to be recharged now, and my cell phone is acting very wonky. We can't fix any of this, either, because...well, because sometimes God likes to show you that it is possible to live much more simply than you're used to.

The dishwasher, though! *sob*

So I'm going to spend some time here, studiously ignoring the fact that my life is about to revolve around my kitchen sink, and the greasy things therein. And while I procrastinate, I am going to be saying to myself, over and over again, "People survived for thousands of years even though they had to wash all their dishes by hand. A dishwasher is not a necessity for life. Really. It can be done. It can be done. It can be done."

Dilemma

What to do when you are a native of Pittsburgh, living in Baltimore and married to an obsessive Ravens' fan?

The thing is, I watch football because my husband watches football. Growing up, in a house that was absolutely dominated by estrogen, I almost never laid eyes on a game. I have a vague memory of watching a Superbowl with my parents, where I was very excited to be allowed to eat dinner in the basement. Later in life, my stepfather would watch the games.......alone, and we would laugh whenever we'd hear him yelling at the t.v. I think I maybe watched a game at my aunt's house occasionally, but the truth is that I was there more for the food and company than anything else. I am a Pittsburgher, though, and the combination of black and gold never fails to stir something deep in my heart.

Now, though, in order to avoid becoming a football widow, I watch it all. the. time. I know the names of a few players on every single team, and I long ago committed to memory the fact that scoring is called a "touchdown", not a "goal," or a "hey, they got some points - how many points is a whatcha'ma callit, again?" I listen to PTI and SportsCenter, and know what to expect from those guys. (Mostly predictions that are almost always wrong, but why should that stop anybody from tuning in to their t.v. shows, radio programs and magazine columns to catch every precious - and almost always wrong- word that comes out of their constantly running mouths?) Chris cares deeply about football. Deeply. And because I love him, I care a little bit now, too. Granted, back in the day, I couldn't see why he was so elated to discover that football player who lived almost-next to us, but now I can think back and say, "Wow! Ed Reed was our neighbor! Pretty cool!"

All that is to say - when the stakes are high and the Steelers are playing the Ravens, who do I root for? Well, what sort of choice do I have, really? The biggest football nut that I've ever known happens to be married to me, happens to be the love of my life, and happens to be my best friend. I root for the Ravens. But the Pittsburgher in me (and there are some places that leave its mark in your soul, no matter where you go or what you do: Pittsburgh is without question one of those places) is sad that I have to make a choice.

So, now that the game is decided and it's all over: Go Steelers! And looking at the above picture made me homesick for the days when I would have been there, wearing something black and gold and munching on chips while laughing at whatever jokes were being thrown around. The funny thing is, though, that I wouldn't have cared so much about who won then; it's not the team I miss, it's the company.

Hi. Still alive, believe it or not

Our computer died in October. Two long months followed where our only access to the internet consisted of squinting down at Chris' iphone and cursing every five seconds whenever we inevitably hit a rogue link and had to waaaait for the page to load and then waaaait for it to re-load back onto the page we had never wanted to leave in the first place.

Our shiny (more or less) new (well, new to us) computer just arrived, though, and I feel like Moses staring down at the parted red sea. It seems like such a miracle, this whole information superhighway thing. How did we live without this? How am I supposed to find the time to do boring, mundane things like cleaning when I have all this power right at my fingertips. Wow. Hello world! It's good to be back.

It has been so long since the last update that I am just going give a quick review of the past few months:

* Jasper chewed a hole through the wall. Twice. Thanks to my wonderful father in law for coming down (on his birthday, no less) to fix it the first time. I'm very sorry that it didn't last.

* A terrible flu rampaged through the house. Christmas was almost cancelled.

* In the midst of her fever-induced delirium Abbie told Chris that, "The Steelers are evil! They don't like Santa, and they burn down churches where baby Jesus lives." That's a direct quote.

*Lucy has started to talk more coherently. We now know for certain when she wants us to "Go away!" and when she would like a bite of nourishment, please: "Eat!"

* Katie read the kid-version of "Marley and Me" and fell in love with Jasper for about two hours. Then jumped over the couch (which she was sitting on) and she went back to barely tolerating him.

* Beth's two front teeth were slightly wiggly, and she spent a solid week trying to loosen them more before finally insisting that Chris pull them out. After the first tug, as blood began to gush over her chin, he realized that it was really too soon. They had gone too far to stop, though, so Chris basically performed a minor surgery in our living room. Beth was just happy that she could finally sing All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth and really mean it.

*One week later, two more of Beth's teeth fell out without warning. She now looks like a 90 year old woman when she smiles.

*Claire came into our room the other night after having a nightmare. She snuck in too quietly, however, and all I heard was a tiny rustle as she stepped over some wrapping paper on the floor. I shot up in my bed and tried to see, but it was too dark. Claire froze. "Who is it?" I cried out, still half asleep, "Is someone there?" There was silence, but you know how you can just tell when someone is there? I woke up all the way, and called out again, "Is someone in here?" There was not a sound - not a single sound - but then suddenly a hand grabbed my arm.

I screamed. It was dark, and I was half asleep, and I was freaked out, okay. I know it's still pathetic, but.....I screamed. And then Claire screamed and burst into tears. You know all those horror movies with creepy kids sneaking around all over the place? That is just my everyday life around here.

I think that's enough for now. I'll put up some pictures later. Maybe. If I can figure out how to get to them (on my laptop, which is broken and can't connect to the internet) from here.

Katie brought her school journal home today

Here are my two favorite entries. This kid is the sweetest!

A role model for me is my Dad. My Dad is my role model because when I'm confused he shows me tricks to help me understand what I'm confused about. When I'm stressed and tired and sad my Dad shows me the bright side. Sometimes there is something a really want to accomplish and my Dad helps me get it done like my speech for an example. My Dad is always nice and never lets me feel left out. Dad is always doing nice things for us like I used to hate hamburgers but my Dad never gave up and now I love hamburgers. To me my Dad is the perfect role model.

Another one:

The greatest thing in my life is my family. I think my family is the greatest thing in my life because I can depend on them. My Mom always makes me dinner so I don't starve. My Dad makes sure I'm not confused with what I'm learning in school. My sisters always play with me. My dog (Jasper) makes me feel better just by his looks. I love my family.

Oh Dear.

What in the world am I supposed to do with this?

Oh, and the field trip?

Totally awesome! I think I ran my station fairly well. There was that one time when I screwed the fire up and and had to do my entire presentation while we were all weeping from the smoke, but once the kids and I staggered outside to get some fresh air we all recovered just fine.

What I can't decide is whether my favorite part of the day was when they brought out a gigantic vulture (named Upchuck. Here's some trivia for you: a vulture's first line of defense is to puke on whoever is threatening it.) and then left it hanging out on a branch mere inches from a cluster of rambunctious boys, or if it was when the guy in charge told the kids in my group that they couldn't sit because, "Indians aren't lazy like you!"

I can't wait to do this again in two years, when it is Beth's turn.

Places that really make me...

...long for the day when Lucy will be able to ask for a drink like a civilized person instead of calling all beverages, "juice," mispronouncing it, and so screeching at the top of her lungs, "JEW! JEEWW!!!" until I can plug her mouth shut with a sippy cup:





*Waiting in the exam room of our beloved pediatrician, Dr. Israel.


*The Communion line in Church

*Waiting in the parking lot across the street from the girls' school - which is also the parking lot for a Temple.

*Shopping at places where there are lots of people who dress like this:

One thing is for certain: we will not be visiting the Holocast Museum in DC anytime soon.

Field Trip Queen

Chris suddenly found himself with lots of free time on his hands this September, and I have been taking advantage of that by volunteering for everything possible at the girls' school. I'm making up for lost time over the past two years, when I couldn't really volunteer for anything due to a lack of available babysitters. (This is another great advantage - should Chris suddenly become bereft of his free time, I now have two wonderfully accommodating Grandparents at hand to help out!) Everybody knows that to really know what's going on in school, you have to be there, and it has bugged me to no end when that couldn't happen for me. Well, I'm there now and learning all sorts of interesting things.

This months is extra-intense, though, because I am going on not one, not two, but three field trips. The first was to a local farm with the kindergarten (lots of fun), the third will be to the aquarium with the second grade (I did that before with Katie, and am looking forward to it again with Beth.) The second one is tomorrow, and it is the doozy of the bunch. I'm not going to elaborate any more right now than to say that it is an Indian campground, and it is run by the most awesomely crazy person I've ever met. He's awesome. But truly crazy. I am running the "Legend and Fire" hut, I will be facing the fourth graders armed with puppets....and fire, and let me tell you: this is going to be an experience.

Stay tuned.