Welcome Home

So we just had our longest trip away from the kids, ever. And while we had a great, great time we certainly missed our little ones. I told a friend at the wedding that I always feel like I'm masquerading whenever I'm out without the girls. I feel like I should put a sign on my back that reads, "This carefree woman is not what she appears to be - her natural element is to be covered in sticky kisses, with wet wipes in her pockets and dried oatmeal flakes in her hair."

This morning, though, all was back to normal. That is to say, our normal. I got up early to get the dog from the kennel (he was wired, really wired) and then we had to pack up the van and drive Chris to the airport. The girls were chattering away as usual, an unrelenting wave of voices that simply grows louder and louder as they try to drown each other out. Suddenly, though, the normal chaos turned to mass panic chaos. There was screaming, there was crying, the car was swerving as I leaned back to see what the problem was and Chris tried to shout down the terrified yells.

There was a slug in the backseat.

I had grabbed Jasper's car-kennel that morning from the front yard, not bothering to check it for bugs. Big mistake.

The crazy thing is that the only kid who was scared was Claire. Sure, when she first began screaming bloody murder we were all panicky and startled, but as the issue became clear, Claire was only one actually upset about the slug. It's just that, as she cried and screamed, the other girls were also screaming - at her. Abbie yelled out, "It's not like it has teeth, Claire." And Lucy, little Lucy all of two years old, was yelling, "This is ridiculous!"

And still Claire screamed. The slug was making its way across the floor by her seat, and she couldn't calm herself down. The closest she came to saying anything coherent was, "I am really scared of this thing. I can't stand it!" Which is pretty coherent, come to think of it. But that was just brief pockets in the continuous high-piched hysteria.

Chris finally had enough and pulled off of the beltway and into a Best Buy parking lot. Of course, though, by that time the slug had snuck under Lucy's seat and we couldn't find it to save our lives. And believe me, we were looking as though our lives depended on it. Mr. Slug was never found, however. He may still be there right now. I am really hoping that he will either find his way out of the car, or will shrivel up and die in the heat. Here's hoping.

As we were drivng down the off-ramp, though, the car shuddering from the chaos, screams and cries all around us, Chris looked over at me smiled wryly. We had such a good time last weekend, we enjoyed our alone time so much. But the real world beckoned, and it was time to face our reality.

"Welcome Home," he said through the shrieks. And we laughed. This is our reality. This is home.