Mr. Mom

I volunteered at the girls' school this afternoon, and when we returned home I could tell that something was up.

The hallway floor was covered in flecks of styrofoam.
The loaf of bread that had been uneaten when I left this afternoon was now just a chunk, laying half-flattened on the stovetop. I could see teeth marks all over the crust.
My bed was covered in both styrofoam flecks and bread crumbs. The kicker was when I saw that Lucy was wearing summer pajamas. As she tried to plunge a toilet.

Chris, it seemed, had quite a busy afternoon. I've had times like this myself, but even though I totally sympathized, it couldn't stop me from doing something unforgivable. As Chris began to explain the time line of destruction, I giggled. Then I gathered all my powers of control and listened compassionately.

Until I giggled again.

I couldn't help it! He described the mayhem :Lucy demanded snack after snack for the first 30 min, then she toppled off of the kitchen chair forcing Chris to lunge and save her. Then she had a horrific and messy dirty diaper. He needed a breather, so he let her take half a piece of bread into our bedroom (a big no-no for me ) only to discover after 20 min that she had helped herself to the entire loaf and shredded it all over our bedroom. She had also gone into our closet and found a picture frame wrapped in Styrofoam peanuts, which she happily tore into less manageable pieces and flung around. Chris' twenty minutes of peace came at a high price. So he spent the next twenty minutes vacuuming up, because - as he stated it, "Even I didn't feel right letting you come home to that." After calming Lucy down and getting her settled in front of our bedroom tv, he foolishly returned to his videogame in the basement. Naturally, Lucy then went into the kitchen, crawled up on the table and dumped a few cups of milk onto the floor (as well as herself.) How the plunger worked into any of this is anybody's guess.

I kissed Chris, gave him a hug, and agreed that he had a terrible afternoon, one that would have left me in tears.

And then I laughed and laughed.